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Frozen Dick

‘Frozen Dick’

Season 1, Episode 12 -  Aired March 26, 1996

As the Solomons confront snow for the first time, Dick and Mary head to Chicago for a science award ceremony. Meanwhile, Harry gets a job at a video store.

Quote from Nina

Nina: Whew! I am freezing.
Mary: Why don't you wear a longer skirt?
Nina: With these legs? I don't think so.


Quote from Leon

Leon: Dr. Solomon?
Dick: Well, come in, Leon. [Leon cautiously steps into the room] Come in, come in, come in, all the way in.
Leon: Can I have the weekend to turn in my paper?
Dick: Leon, do you find that I cause you stress?
Leon: Why? Did someone say I said that?
Dick: No.
Leon: It was all a misunderstanding. [Leon starts backing away] I love physics. I find it very soothing. I don't know what you've heard. Please don't fail me. I'll turn the paper in by Friday. [exits]

Quote from Tommy

Harry: Oh, Tommy. What are you doing here? I thought you had that book report due on Dickens.
Tommy: I was doing it, and it was so boring. I realized I could save myself a lot of work if I just watched the movie. I can't believe no kid ever thought of this before.

Quote from Dick

[Dick tries to climb into the overhead luggage compartment]
Mary: What are you doing?
Dick: I'm entering the pod.
Mary: For God's sakes, just sit down and behave yourself.
Dick: Of course I will, Mary. Here I am, sitting. You just be calm. Take a deep breath.
Stewardess: [over P.A.] Welcome to Northview Airlines Flight 604 to Chicago.
Dick: Oh, my god! Out there! There's something on the wing!
Mary: It's an engine!
Dick: This thing is a deathtrap! Sky waitress! Sky waitress!
Stewardess: Please be quiet during safety procedures.
Dick: Safety? On this flying donkey cart? That's rich. How can this woman stay calm when, at any second, we could go careening out of the sky in a flaming heap of twisted metal?
Stewardess: Sir, everything is going to be-
Dick: At least give her a gelatin-filled helmet to keep her brain intact. She's receiving an award!
Stewardess: Please sit down.
Dick: No! We're getting off! Who's with me?

Quote from Dick

Mary: I've never been kicked off a plane before.
Dick: Be grateful it was still on the ground.
Mary: You could have told me you were afraid to fly.
Dick: Only on airplanes.
Mary: Instead of a 45-minute flight, I have a seven-hour drive.
Dick: Don't worry. I've anticipated your needs, and I'm ready to fill the remaining six hours and 50 minutes with mirth and merriment. I brought Mad Libs. I need the name of someone in the room.
Mary: Dick.
Dick: Dick. [chuckles] This is funny already.

Quote from Sally

Sally: Listen, Leon, I don't want to freak you out or anything, but I think the earth is spiraling out of the sun's orbit and we're heading for a new ice age.
Leon: Oh. Uh, did they say that on the news?
Sally: No, no, no, but trust me, I've seen this happen before. We could be the last two creatures on earth.
Leon: Oh, I don't know about that.
Sally: Our first responsibility is to breed. We must, must copulate as much as we can.
Leon: Well, now that you mention it, I didn't see any people on the way over. [lights out]
Sally: Damn! How are we supposed to do it with the lights out?

Quote from Mary

Mary: [sings] A boy like that will kill your brother Forget that boy and find another One of your own kind, stick to your own kind A boy who kills cannot love A boy who kills has no heart And he's a boy who has no heart, very smart Oh, no, Anita, no, you should know-
Dick: Oh, my god. Fear has made you hysterical.
Mary: Oh, no, no, no. I just like to sing show tunes on long trips. Before I found anthropology, I was going to be a theater major. Did I ever tell you why I became a teacher?
Dick: I don't think this is the best time-
Mary: Well, like all little girls, I had a thing for neolithic archeology. My father used to cut up my Barbies and bury the pieces in the backyard so I could discover them. Only problem was, on my first dig I discovered I was afraid of skeletons.

Quote from Leon

Sally: Okay, here are our rations, tuna salad on whole wheat. Sorry, all we have to drink is this giant bottle of wine. It has a modest bouquet, but I think you'll be amused by its presumptuousness. Whatever. Well, Leon, to the survival of the species.
Leon: Oh, hmm, yes. [drinks]
Sally: Why are you nervous?
Leon: Well, it's just that I've never been with a woman of your... good-lookingness before.
Sally: Yeah, I know, I'm hot. It's kind of exciting for me, too. All the men I've met have been strong and decisive, and you're neither of those things.
Leon: Well, I can be, maybe. Probably not.
Sally: Oh, Leon, think what our offspring will be like. They'll have my skills as a warrior and your fierce intelligence.
Leon: Dr. Solomon doesn't talk much about me, does he?

Quote from Harry

Harry: Hey, guess what, you guys, I got a new job.
Sally: Another job? Where?
Harry: At Gung-ho videos. My command of the vernacular impressed both Mr. Gung and Mr. Ho.
Dick: Congratulations, Harry.
Sally: Good for you, Harry.

Quote from Dick

Dick: Why do humans spend so much time worrying about the weather? They can't go 15 minutes without getting an update. Don't these people have windows?
Tommy: I cannot do a book report out here, Dick. My fingers are going numb. Can we please go inside now?
Dick: Absolutely not. This is research. No one goes in without a damn good reason. [gust blows] Does anyone remember what color our napkins are?
Tommy: I think we should go check.

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