Granddaddy Clisby: Now, these are the boys you came to the mall to see?
Dean: Yes, sir.
Granddaddy Clisby: Well, I know they make you go to school with them, but, uh, you don't have to pretend to like them, you understand?
Dean: But I do like them.
Granddaddy Clisby: Oh, well. I guess we have overcome, then, huh?

Granddaddy Clisby: Oh, Muhammad Ali should have just gone on into the army. He'd be back in the ring by now.
Coach Long: Well, you know what? I'm glad he took a stand. And I wish more pro athletes would, too.
Granddaddy Clisby: Well, see, I ain't studding them rich Negroes. Bring on the 1968 Summer Olympics. Real athletes, no politics.
Coach Long: Okay. So you don't disagree with any of this country's politics?
Granddaddy Clisby: Son, everybody disagrees with this country's politics. You just got to be ready to serve, see? I served, hmm? My son served. My other grandson is in Vietnam right now. You got to be ready to fight and die for America. Ain't that right, Dean?
Dean: [choking] Uh, yes. Yes, sir.
Adult Dean: Die? [chuckles] I hadn't really thought about all that. But that's what the barbershop was good for... making you think, challenging your assumptions, and giving you a good laugh.
Coach Long: Dean won't take a fastball for his little league team. [laughter] How the hell he ready to die for his country? [laughter]

Bill: First off, we're gonna have to divvy up the household duties.
Granddaddy Clisby: Well, since you were a cook in the Army, it's only right that you cook for us.
Bill: Wow. Thanks for the vote of confidence.
Granddaddy Clisby: Yeah, see, I was in the infantry, like a real man. So I'll be sure to shoot the first one who tries to break in.

Granddaddy Clisby: God did not take Adam's rib so he could scrub a pot.
Dean: You'll get used to doing chores. Doing them together could even be fun.
Granddaddy Clisby: You know what's really fun? Making money. How's about I give you 50 cents a day to do my chores?
Adult Dean: While I was hoping all of us roughing it together would create a lifelong memory, I couldn't turn down a solid side hustle.
Granddaddy Clisby: And don't tell your father.

Granddaddy Clisby: Don't worry, kid. I've been winning at poker since I learned to play in a foxhole during the Great War.
Dean: So what was it like fighting in World War I?
Bill: You might be a little young for those stories.
Dean: I'm old enough to play poker.
Granddaddy Clisby: Fine. I guess I can tell you one story.
[later:]
Granddaddy Clisby: And that's when I shot down the Red Baron.
Bill: No, you didn't. No, he didn't.
Adult Dean: Once Granddaddy got started, there was no stopping him. I heard about trench warfare, mustard gas poisoning, and how he single-handedly saved Paris while falling in love with Josephine Baker.

Granddaddy Clisby: And we were marching through this town, see, and I saw this cute little French girl...
Bill: Not appropriate, Dad.
Adult Dean: This was it. This was the bonding moment I'd been waiting for. I was feeling happy, feeling redeemed, feeling... very, very hot.
Bill: You okay there, Dean? Oh, you are burning up. We need to get you to a doctor.
Granddaddy Clisby: No, no, no, no, we ain't going there. All right? Y-Y-You can't trust these doctors. Well, they tell you they're gonna take your blood, then they don't tell you what they're gonna do with it.
Bill: Don't listen to him. This is just nonsense he hears at the barbershop.
Granddaddy Clisby: You remember your cousin Darnell? Well, he's being treated by some doctors over at Tuskegee in some special studies, but I'm telling you, the man is only getting worse.
Adult Dean: Yeah, that's the one the history books still don't talk about enough.

Dean: Don't you know that they take your blood and do something secret with it?
Granddaddy Clisby: That's right. That's why they call it medical practice, because they're practicing on you.
Bill: Dad.
Dean: Exactly. Just g-give me some goose grease, and I'll be fine.
Lillian: Wha... Goose grease?
Bill: Dad. You need to stop. You're the one who put this foolishness in his head, so... you're the one who needs to get it out.
Granddaddy Clisby: Okay. Okay. So, maybe you ought to listen to the doctor just this once.
Dean: But you wouldn't let them take your blood, Granddad. You told me.
Granddaddy Clisby: Maybe if we do this together.

Adult Dean: After you've been through a few tornado seasons in the South, you learn that no matter how big the storm, life still goes on. That meant me and Daddy still had to get our "start of summer" haircuts after the last day of school.
Granddaddy Clisby: Now, now, now, this one wasn't nothing. Y'all remember the twister that came through in '37? That bad boy was a mile wide.
Bray: Pulled my daddy's mulberry tree straight out the ground.
Granddaddy Clisby: Please, my friend Cooper came home... house gone. [laughter]
Adult Dean: But Daddy and I weren't in the mood for jokes.
Bray: Uh, what's the matter? Cat got your tongue?
Granddaddy Clisby: Well, now, maybe he's upset because his mama went behind his daddy's back and bought her own vehicle.
Bill: Dad, I told you that in confidence.
Granddaddy Clisby: What?
Bill: You're like a bad refrigerator. Can't keep nothing.
Granddaddy Clisby: Now, if you ask me, first mistake was letting her learn to drive. [laughter]

Granddaddy Clisby: I'mma need to get to the hardware store on Saturday.
Bill: For what? You have every nail that's... [off Lillian's look] Fine. Kim can take you. As a matter of fact, you should leave your car here for her to drive.
Granddaddy Clisby: Now, how are you gonna give away my car?
Kim: Really? I'm getting my own car?
Bill: I'll buy it for you, on the condition you take your granddaddy wherever he needs to go.
Granddaddy Clisby: Hold on. This child don't need to be driving me all over town. This child need to be trying to find herself a husband. That's what she need...
Lillian: A husband? She's 17!
Granddaddy Clisby: Okay, you right. Ship's passed.

Adult Dean: I neglected to mention to Cory that riding with my sister came with one condition.
Granddaddy Clisby: Boy, stop breathing down my neck. You're gonna set my collar on fire. And comb your hair! Both of you look like you got weeds growing out of your head. Our people's hair looked better during slavery.
Dean: I just combed it.
Granddaddy Clisby: Well, next time, do it right.
Adult Dean: That's how it was between us and Granddaddy. I guess he loved his grandkids, but he never showed it, just a nonstop stream of insults.
Granddaddy Clisby: [horn honks] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Come on, Kim! Didn't you see the truck? Maybe if you'd take some of that eye makeup off, you could see a little better.
Adult Dean: And criticisms.
Kim: I saw him coming up fast, so I let him pass.
Granddaddy Clisby: Maybe that's your problem. You're too nice. Didn't even cuss at him or flash a gun.