Cory: Hey, Dean. You won't believe it, man. We were chopping down trees, right?
Hampton: And a copperhead came up from under the log!
Norman: Then Mr. Long cut it in half with the hatchet!
Cory: But, listen, the head was still wiggling.
Norman: Then a hawk flew down, grabbed it, and carried it away.
Cory: If it wasn't for my dad, we'd all be dead from that snake. And Norman would have been carried off by the hawk. [Norman sighs]

Cory: Hey, I'm not gonna lie. I felt a little left out last time, so I spent all night studying up on the planets. Did you know that Pluto is so far out there that from there, the sun just looks like a regular star? Also, did you know that we have a library by where we live?
Adult Dean: Wait a minute, Cory's an astronomer all of a sudden?
Dean: Hey, you know how sports is your thing?
Cory: Mm-hmm.
Dean: Maybe leave the planets to me.
Cory: Okay. Unless there's a cute girl out there. Then the Pluto thing's coming back out.
Adult Dean: Cory was probably the only kid in the world who could make a pick-up line about Pluto work.

Brad: Yeah, well, I gotta learn to sing my Bar Mitzvah parsha and then write a whole speech about it. And it's not one of those cool portions about locusts or boils, either. It's just a father giving advice to his sons on his deathbed.
Cory: Yeah, and all that's from the Torah, right?
Dean: Stop bragging because you know one Jewish thing.
Brad: Imagine singing something in a language you barely know in front of people you barely know.
Dean: Sounds brutal.
Cory: All this just to turn 13 and dance the hora, huh?
Dean: Fine. Two Jewish things.

Adult Dean: And just when I thought it couldn't get any crazier...
Cory: [to girl] Of course... I love Maya Angelou. And all the other Supremes. [strokes "mustache"]
Dean: [sighs] Yeah, excuse me, I-I need to talk to my friend.
Girl: Hmm.
Cory: Dean, what are you doing, man? She was into me. This better be good.
Dean: She's 17. I doubt she's into you.
Cory: Yeah? Then why was she staring at my 'stache?

Dean: I don't know what you guys are talking about. That's just a movie.
Norman: Nope. Those guys don't come back the same.
Cory: He's right, Dean. My mama's cousin came back from Vietnam, and now everybody says he's on the junk.
Brad: What's "the junk"?
Cory: I don't really know. But whatever it is, it makes your grandma lock up her rings.

Adult Dean: Glasses or not, I wasn't the most popular kid in the neighborhood. Thank God I had Cory.
Cory: 'Sup, Dean? Give me some skin.
Adult Dean: My best friend, Coach Long's son. He'd figured out his bag when we hit puberty and he grew six inches of height and six inches of hair where it count. He was macho.
Dean: Hey, you got to tell me about that party at Noddy's last night. Was it really a makeout party?
Cory: Come on now, man. You know it's not cool to kiss and tell.
Dean: Okay, but don't forget, you were supposed to teach me how to French kiss on a pillow.
Cory: Shh! I'll tell you later. [Dean chuckles]

Nelson: Hey, Dean, are you coming to the planetarium with us next week?
Dean: Uh, I hope so. I mean, I love the planetarium.
Cory: Dean can name all eight planets.
Adult Dean: Cory was wrong then, but he turned out to be right thanks to an absolutely fascinating string of discoveries. Yeah, still a nerd.

Dean: I've been trying to bond with my dad and granddad like Bruce did, but every time we get close to it, something gets in the way.
Cory: Hey, man, what if you gave me a hug?
Dean: Then you'll get chicken pox.
Cory: I know! Look, I got a social studies test on Friday, and I have not studied for it. Plus, if I time it right, I could probably get out of church, too. [goes to open screen door]
Coach Long: Cory Long, don't you take one more step. Boy, have you lost your mind? Look, now, you know your mama gonna blame me if you get sick. I'm taking you home.