Quote from Independence Day
Bill: I told you how he was swerving all over the road.
Dean: It was like watching a drunk turtle.
Lillian: Well, it was worse than that. He had a fender-bender. Left the car and walked home. They called a tow truck, but he couldn't remember where he left it.
Bill: [sighs] I guess it's time.
Lillian: Yeah. Everybody's time comes sooner or later. I know it's hard, but you're doing the right thing, and you're doing it because you love him.
Dean: It's okay, Dad. He'll be in a better place, like Buster.
Adult Dean: I didn't exactly know what they were talking about, but it sounded like when my dog Buster had to go to a big farm in the sky.
Bill: What? Boy, we're talking about stopping your granddad from driving, not putting him down.
Quote from The Sleepover
Adult Dean: The fact that Coach Long was trusting me with a secret he couldn't tell Cory made me feel mature, special.
It almost made me forget that I am terrible at keeping secrets.
Kim: Why'd you buy paper plates?
Dean: For your surprise birthday party.
Bill: Thanks, Dean.
Bill: I can't wait to see Planet of the Apes.
Dean: Yeah, I heard it was good. They were on Earth all along. [off Bill's look] W-What? I said it was good.
Quote from Green Eyed Monster
Dean: And as I've taken you through the entire life of Dr. King, from his seminary days in Boston to his Poor People's Campaign, I summarize with this. Dr. King is like the fish my dad caught. And Black people are like my dad. We don't eat the fish. No. We appreciate what the fish taught us and try to live our lives just like he did. [applause]
Adult Dean: Okay, in hindsight, it was pretty ham-fisted and forced, but to a 12-year-old, it was brilliant.
Quote from The Workplace
Kim: Mama, I've never seen that purse before! That's foxy! Eh, you know where my other skirt is? Not the plaid one. The green one with the buttons on the front.
Lillian: It's still in the hamper. You know where the laundry room is, right?
Bill: Baby, what time do you think dinner will be ready? Can you make stew? You make the best stew.
Dean: We just got home! Will you people give us a second? Please. And when I get back in here, these chores better be done. [scoffs] Man, the woman just walked through the door.
Quote from Country Dean
Pearl: I mean, some of us have TVs, but not ones we can watch all the time.
Dean: We have four.
Buster: Whoa! There's only one place I know with that many.
[cut to Dean, Buster and Pearl standing in front of an electronics store:]
Dean: That's the episode where Mrs. Kravitz thinks Darrin and Samantha have a baby. My neighbor in Montgomery, Ms. Stringer, is nosy just like that. Ooh! And that's the one where Gomer and Sergeant Carter lose the Colonel's dog. I'm not saying they stole the idea, but same thing happened to me and my friend Cory. Oh, and that? That's The Mod Squad, where they catch car thieves. Just like the crime in Montgomery.
Quote from Jobs and Hangouts
Lillian: Yeah, your book report is very good, Dean. You really explained the themes of Call of the Wild very well, but you had several misspelled words. Now, honey, if you can't spell something, you gotta look it up.
Dean: How would I know if I spelled a word wrong if nobody tells me? One day, I'm gonna create something that automatically checks your spelling for you.
Lillian: Oh, baby. Lazy has already been invented. [laughs]
Adult Dean: And that's why I don't have a yacht today.
Quote from Bill's New Gig
[Dean gasps as he wakes up in the middle of the night with Bruce knocking on his bedroom window]
Bruce: Shh. Shh. [whispers] Unlock the window.
Adult Dean: Well, well. The man who'd been bossing me around missed his curfew and needed my help getting back in our room. Hmm.
Bruce: [whispers] Unlock the window.
Adult Dean: But you know what? He was a good brother. And I knew Mom and Dad would be furious if they caught him.
Dean: [quietly] I'm sleeping.
Bruce: Dean. Dean! Dean! I'm gonna kill you, Dean. Dean!
Quote from Where No Dean Has Been Before
Lillian: What's wrong with being yourself?
Adult Dean: "Just be yourself." Ageless wisdom that's just as true now as it has ever been. Nah, buddy, she was gonna have to come harder than that today.
Dean: You kidding me?! You have no idea what seventh grade is like! That will never work! I've been myself all year, all my life, and where has it gotten me?
Bill: Watch your tone.
Lillian: [sighs] It's okay, Bill. Let him speak his mind.
Dean: And, of course, you would think "just be yourself" would work. You're always yourself, and people love you for it.
Bill: [to Lillian] The whooping window is closing. Pretty soon it's gonna be more for me than him.
Quote from Green Eyed Monster
Mrs. Anderson: Dean? May I speak to you? [Dean walks to the front of the class] It's not like you to get a "C." Do you have an explanation? [Dean sighs] Maybe it was unfair of me to expect you to study. This must be such a difficult time for your people. Let's just go ahead and make this one an "A."
Adult Dean: Wait. What's this, now?
Dean: Y- You mean... 'cause of Dr. King?
Mrs. Anderson: You must feel so... lost.
Adult Dean: Now, I knew that taking advantage of the tragic death of the greatest civil-rights icon in history was inappropriate, but I'd just gotten my heart broken for the first time. Give me a break.
Dean: So lost. But this helps.
Mrs. Anderson: Does this help, too? [hugs Dean]
Dean: [whispers] Yes.
Quote from Green Eyed Monster
Coach Wright: All the way to the top. And go.
Dean: I don't think I can. Not since Martin Luther King never made it to the mountaintop.
Coach Wright: It's all right, son. I'll give you a pass to see the guidance counselor.
[later, Dean is reading a magazine and eating candy as he sits on a couch outside the guidance counselor's office:]
Guidance Counselor: The gym teacher said you might need to talk.
Dean: Nah, I'm good. You might want to freshen these, though. [shakes jar]