Dean: Where did this come from?
Granddaddy Clisby: I called my goose guy.
Dean: Why do you need a goose?
Granddaddy Clisby: To make goose grease.
Adult Dean: If Granddaddy Clisby thought he was making things clearer, he was wrong.
Bill: Can someone tell me what the heck a pre-wash is? Dad, no.
Granddaddy Clisby: Kept you healthy your whole childhood, son.
Bill: More like it kept me smelling bad and swatting flies my whole childhood.
Dean: Dad, Granddad's about to teach me to make goose grease. You should join us, then it'll be the three generations of Williams men making memories.
Bill: I'm not participating in any of this nonsense.
Granddaddy Clisby: Pay him no attention. You're about to learn the magic of goose grease.

Dean: What about one of your war stories, Dad?
Bill: Aw.
Granddaddy Clisby: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell him about the time that you sliced your finger while cutting a tomato during the Battle of Ham Sandwich. You see, your brother, Bruce, and I fought in combat while your father was banging pots in the safety of the kitchen.
Bill: Well, they say an army marches to battle on its stomach.
Granddaddy Clisby: Well, you got that right. [both laugh]

Lillian: Dean, I can see you've been scratching. I brought you something for the itch. Y'all need to use it.
Granddaddy Clisby: No, ma'am. I'm not taking the White man's medicine.
Bill: Dad, I know you don't trust doctors, but you can't avoid them forever.
Granddaddy Clisby: Watch me.
Bill: See what I'm putting up with over here?

Granddaddy Clisby: I'm, uh, I'm heading home. It's dinner time.
Dean: It's 4:30, Granddad.
Granddaddy Clisby: Damn. It's gonna be cold.
Lillian: Clisby, have you had chicken pox before?
Granddaddy Clisby: I've had everything from the Spanish flu, mustard gas, hoof-and-mouth. You name it, I'm immune to it.

Granddaddy Clisby: I've got my own remedies. Much better than any doctor's. You'll see.
[later, the doorbell rings and Dean opens the front door to find a dead bird wrapped up on the front porch]
Dean: [yelps]
Granddaddy Clisby: Oh, good. My goose is here.

Adult Dean: Granddaddy surprised everybody with his perfect blood test, proving that he's inexplicably as healthy as a horse. My dad, on the other hand, found out he has high cholesterol.
Bill: Come on, Lil. Why don't you give me a little piece of that roast?
Lillian: Bill, you had two eggs this morning. You're already over your limit for the day. Come on, it's just 'til you get your numbers down.
Granddaddy Clisby: Mmm! This pot roast is delicious. Well, maybe you could trade one bite for one egg next week. [laughter]
Bill: So this is how it's gonna be?

Kim: Ew. What is with all this noise? I can't hear myself think.
Lillian: Stop. Don't move. Dean has chicken pox.
Kim: Oh, you are not getting me sick. I just got over mono.
Bill: Mono? You said it was a lingering cold.
Kim: We need to be worried about Dean right now.

Bill: First off, we're gonna have to divvy up the household duties.
Granddaddy Clisby: Well, since you were a cook in the Army, it's only right that you cook for us.
Bill: Wow. Thanks for the vote of confidence.
Granddaddy Clisby: Yeah, see, I was in the infantry, like a real man. So I'll be sure to shoot the first one who tries to break in.

Granddaddy Clisby: God did not take Adam's rib so he could scrub a pot.
Dean: You'll get used to doing chores. Doing them together could even be fun.
Granddaddy Clisby: You know what's really fun? Making money. How's about I give you 50 cents a day to do my chores?
Adult Dean: While I was hoping all of us roughing it together would create a lifelong memory, I couldn't turn down a solid side hustle.
Granddaddy Clisby: And don't tell your father.

Granddaddy Clisby: Yeah. Now, doesn't that feel better? [chuckles]
Adult Dean: It actually did help with the itching. And my skin felt amazing! Never been so soft and supple.
Bill: I can smell y'all from inside.
Granddaddy Clisby: Well, that means it's working.
Bill: It does make me a little nostalgic for home.
Granddaddy Clisby: Mm-hmm!
Dean: [chuckles] Hey, Dad, maybe you should put some on. Then the three of us could... [flies buzz] Oh, no! Here come the flies! They bite! They bite! Eyes! Not the eyes!