Kim: You know, for what it's worth, I hope things work out with you, Tommy, and Kasey.
Dean: You mean Cory and Keisa?
Kim: Yeah, them.
Dean: You don't even know my friends' names?
Kim: I-I do. Cory, Keisa, and... Fred, the one who died last year.
Dean: Fred was my turtle.
Kim: Oh. I thought he was one of your buddies from school.
Dean: And you didn't say anything for a whole year?!
Kim: Ugh!

Kim: Ooh, he must be gambling. That's what happened to my friend Lorraine. Her father lost their house in a card game, and they had to move to Arkansas.
Dean: I thought they wanted to move to Arkansas?
Kim: Nobody wants to move to Arkansas.

Mr. Brady: Well, I have to admit, I don't have a reputation for being the most subtle person.
Bill: You shouldn't have to be subtle when you're doing the right thing.
Kim: Hmm. That's right. Like Malcolm X.
Bill: Hey, if you're gonna start quoting that nonsense, you can take your leather glove and go to your room.
Kim: Okay. How about, "The time is always right to do what is right"? Is Dr. King more appropriate dinner conversation?

Bruce: Mama, relax, okay? We'll do the dishes.
Lillian: Why, how thoughtful. You have been so helpful lately. Doing laundry, washing the car... I can't even get Dean to make his bed.
Dean: [quietly] Bruce is making us look bad.
Kim: Yeah, we need to have a little talk with him.
Adult Dean: Kim and I were rarely aligned on anything. It was nice to finally have a united front.
Kim: Has anyone ever told you that shirt makes you look like Peppermint Patty?
Adult Dean: Well, it was fun while it lasted.

Kim: Hang on, G.I. Jo-Jo. We need to talk. Things have changed around here since you've been gone.
Dean: Yeah. [broom thuds] Kim and I have come up with a system.
Bruce: System?
Kim: Mama gives us a chore. We do it quickly and poorly.
Dean: She comes in, sees it...
Kim: And it drives her crazy, 'cause you know how it all has to be perfect.
Dean: Then she says [as Lillian] "Move, boy." [normal voice] And then does it for us.
Kim: And then I get to talk on the phone with my friends.
Dean: And I get to go watch TV.
Kim: And everybody's happy.

Kim: Mom and Dad gave you the talk, didn't they?
Dean: What talk?
Kim: The "Let's ruin the fun of thinking about sex" talk.
Dean: Yeah, it was pretty weird.
Kim: Yeah, they gave me the same one a few years ago.
Dean: [sighs] Yeah. Mama said that the dirty ma... I mean "adult" magazines I found were hers.
Kim: Wait, Mom has nudie magazines? The same mom that made me get baptized again for wearing a bikini?
Adult Dean: Oh, she got baptized again, all right, but trust me, it wasn't just about the bikini.

Kim: What else did they tell you? That the baby comes out the...
Dean: Ugh. Yeah. Ouch.
Kim: And that if you don't use birth control, you get a...
Dean: Bruce. [both laugh]
Kim: But did Dad warn you that not even the pill will keep a girl from getting pregnant if she has sex before she graduates college?
Dean: No.
Kim: Of course he didn't. He saved the lies for me. Ugh. Dad!

Adult Dean: Every generation of every family wants its children to have a better life. For many black families in the '60s, a better life simply meant being able to walk a dog instead of being chased by them. For my family, a better life meant a better education.
Lillian: I talked to your guidance counselor. He said that volunteering for the Big Sister, Little Sister program could help your college application stand out.
Kim: I've spent years as Dean's big sister. Shouldn't that count towards community service?
Bill: Spent the first two years trying to send him back. Kept wasting good stamps.
Kim: Well, I went to all his stupid baseball games.
Dean: You went to one game, and the one game that you actually went to, you thought I was another kid.
Kim: You all wear the same color shirts.

Kim: Dad, your pork chop with the gravy on the side, no potatoes. Mom, your country fried steak, light on the batter with no pepper. And here's Dean's burger, well done with pickles, but no onions. Here is a refill of your sweet tea, 'cause I noticed you were getting a little low, an extra napkin for you, and extra ketchup for Dean.
Bill: Very nice. Thank you.
Lillian: Look at our baby girl. So professional.
Kim: I told you I could handle grown-up things like having a job.
Dean: You forgot the sugar for my ketchup. I said no seeds on my bun. This lettuce is brown. I think I see onion juice on the bread, and it's... it's cold in here.
Kim: Dad, tell Dean to stop being a little butt.
Bill: Mnh-mnh. You can't come crying to Mom and Dad on the job. Handle him yourself. But remember, the customer's always right.
Kim: [chuckles] Sir, let me take that burger back to the kitchen to make it right for you. Did you want regular spit on that, or extra juicy?
Dean: On second thought, it's fine the way it is.
Kim: Mm-hmm.

Bill: Just in time. And grab a hose and get to rinsing.
[As Dean grabs the hose, Kim walks out of the house in her work apron]
Kim: Mnh-mnh. Don't.
[Kim gasps as Dean sprays her with water]
Kim: Did you just get my hair wet?!
[Kim takes her shoe off and gets ready to throw it at Dean]
Bill: Dean, get on your bike and ride away! Kim, put the shoe back on! Now, Dean!