Granddaddy Clisby: Are you sure you went to medical school? [doctor nods] Well, w-w-was it a women's medical school? [doctor is silent] Were men there at that school?
Adult Dean: This wasn't exactly the bonding experience I'd wanted when we set off on our hunting trip last week, but seeing the sacrifices my family made for me, I felt a new closeness I hadn't anticipated. We were like blood brothers now.
Granddaddy Clisby: Is your husband okay with you being a doctor?
Dr. Harris: [scoffs] What husband? I'll let you know when I meet him.
Granddaddy Clisby: [to Kim] You see? That's what happens when you get an education.

Bray: So she bought a car with your money? Seems like that should be illegal.
Bill: Our money.
Granddaddy Clisby: What was that? Please, please, s-s- say it again a little louder.
Bill: Our money!
Granddaddy Clisby: Ah, now, s-see, that's the mistake, right there. Next thing you know, the man will be staying at home with the kids, and the wife will be working.
Bray: [chuckles] Maybe we should just surrender to the commies if that happens.
Granddaddy Clisby: Better learn how to say "collard greens" and "sweet potatoes" in Russian. [laughter]
Bill: There sure is a lot of talk about "man's work" from cats who got three hours to sit in a barbershop in the middle of the day. [Dean chuckles]
Granddaddy Clisby: And he lets her write checks.
Bray: What?! No!

Bill: It'll be hard at first, but Lil and I will make sure you and Mama get every place you need to go, on time and in style.
Granddaddy Clisby: [chuckles] That's why I was invited over here. To fill me up on pound cake and meat loaf while you two conspire to steal my freedom. No.
Lillian: W... [sighs] We just want you to be safe.
Granddaddy Clisby: Mm-hmm.
Lillian: Mother Williams said you drove into the shed...
Granddaddy Clisby: Well...
Lillian: ...and crushed all of her gardening supplies.
Granddaddy Clisby: I just need to get my brakes checked, huh? Listen, why don't you wrap me up some of this pound cake? I'm going home. Mills Brothers on TV tonight, huh?

Kim: Okay. Let's listen to some music.
Radio: ♪ All right, ow! ♪
Granddaddy Clisby: Oh, my God. Come on. Come on. Come on. No. Yeah, that boy get too sweaty. Y'all need to listen to some gospel.
Radio: ♪ Yeah, you look to Jesus ♪ ♪ Look to Jesus ♪ ♪ Look to Jesus ♪ ♪ Look to Jesus ♪
Granddaddy Clisby: You two need some Jesus. [to Cory] Now, son, I don't know you, but I can tell by looking at you that you could use some, too.
Kim: [scoffs] The radio station is the driver's choice.
Radio: ♪ All right ♪
Adult Dean: As Kim dragged us along on her errands, I discovered Granddaddy Clisby and I had something in common. He hated being in the Kiddie Car as much as I hated being in the Senile Shuttle.
Cory: I have Jesus, sir.
Granddaddy Clisby: Shut up, boy. You don't.

Granddaddy Clisby: You know, your father, grandmother, and that redneck police officer don't know what they talking about. I been driving for 60 years. Yeah, I know what I'm doing.
Adult Dean: Watching the expression on my granddad's face, I related to him in a new way. We were both tired of unfair limitations other people put on us. We had both gotten a taste of independence, and it was good. This was actually fun. The two of us breaking rules, together.

Granddaddy Clisby: Now, now, now, when Bray first started cutting hair, oh, he was just so nervous, his... his hands were shaking like a leaf. [laughs] I had to say to him... I said, "Now, don't you dare cut no zig-zags in my hair," see?

Granddaddy Clisby: Are you okay?
Dean: Yeah, I-I... I'm fine. Are you okay?
Granddaddy Clisby: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just... need a minute to kind of collect myself. Are you sure you're okay? Because I don't know what I'd do if... But you're okay, right?
Dean: Yeah.
Granddaddy Clisby: Damn it!
Dean: It's... just a little accident. My dad almost ran over a squirrel last week, and my mom was so scared that she even almost said a bad word, too.
Granddaddy Clisby: [chuckles] Yeah.

Granddaddy Clisby: The boy's complaining about bugs already? We're not even in the woods yet. He needs to toughen up.
Bill: Not bugs, Dad, chicken pox.
Dean: Oh.
Bill: "Oh" what? "Oh" what, Dean?
Dean: A bunch of kids got the chicken pox at my school this week.
Bill: And I'm just hearing about this now? After spending three hours cooped up with you in the car?
Granddaddy Clisby: I want to yell at you, but I got to take another pee break... again.

Bill: Well, come on, now. I'm a little rusty.
Granddaddy Clisby: Well, if the pox don't kill us, this chili sure will.

Dean: Want to know what'd be a good idea? If the three of us play cards together. You could even teach me poker.
Granddaddy Clisby: You don't know how to play poker? Well, you ought to know by now. [stammers] How old are you? 7?
Dean: I'm 12.
Bill: You're not gonna teach my son how to gamble. Besides, he doesn't have any money.
Granddaddy Clisby: Yeah, he does.
Dean: Yeah, I do.
Bill: You know what? If it'll help us pass the time, let's do it. Just don't tell your mother.