Sue: You know, I went on kickinitteenstyle.com and took the "Rate Your Assignment Partner" quiz, and you are a "severe collaboration limitation."
Axl: With no due respect, I disagree.
Sue: I thought you might say something like that, so I also ranked you on the sibling scale, and guess what? You're a "bummer brother." So... yeah.
Axl: Whatever. This whole thing is lame. Except kitchen floor hoops, which I just invented, and is totally awesome.
Sue: I know you fancy yourself some kind of rebel, Axl, but sometimes in life, you just have to follow the rules. I put on sunscreen an hour before going outside. I wait till the bus comes to a complete stop before standing. You don't think I would love to fill up on bread? I would. But that's not how the world works. The rule of this project is that you and I take the allotted two weeks and do it together. And that's just what we're gonna do, mister. 'Cause a "D" might fly in Ax Land, but it doesn't work in Sue City. And not the one in Iowa. The one right here.

Frankie: Sue, are you okay?
Sue: No, not at all. All of a sudden, Matt's turned into the world's worst kisser.
Frankie: What do you mean?
Sue: Out of nowhere, he puts his... his tongue... into... my mouth. Oh, my God. What is that? Who does that?
Frankie: Well...
Sue: I can't help but feel bad for him. It's like he totally forgot how to kiss. I mean, what place does a tongue have in kissing? What should I do? I mean, I don't want to embarrass him, but he has to be told. [gasps] Wait. I think I saw something on kickinitteenstyle.com on how to tell your boyfriend he's a bad kisser. I'm gonna go check it out.
Frankie: [v.o.] I really need to talk to Sue more.

Mike: [sighs] I gotta say, Brick, you're annoying me the least this week.
Brick: Thanks, Dad. I know we don't always share a lot of the same interests, but I think we're both very calm. [eats chip]

Frankie: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Really? No one's even gonna say, "what?" Pam Staggs just Facebook friended me. Pam freakin' Staggs!
Brick: Who's Pam Staggs?
Mike: She's that Wheel of Fortune lady your mom went to high school with.
Frankie: She's not just the Wheel of Fortune lady, Mike. She won a million dollars! She solved "pardon my French" with just a "p" and an "r." And I thought it was, "Purell my friend." I know she moved to St. Louis, but then I didn't hear a thing after that.
Brick: This close to not asking.
Mike: Yeah.
Frankie: Like, I couldn't make the first move. She's Pam Staggs! And now she has friended me. Me, Mike, me!
Mike: You do realize you're an adult now?

Axl: All right, fine, I'll just keep walking backwards around campus. This could be a date right here.
Devin: Except it's not.
Axl: Why not? We went out, had a great time, I don't get it. Is there someone else? Am I hideous to you?
Devin: Look, I like you, Axl. I'm just not sure I can do this whole dating thing. I have soccer practice every day, and my grades suck.
Axl: Mine suck, too. That's another thing we have in common. We're like those two characters from that book we never read.