Frankie: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Really? No one's even gonna say, "what?" Pam Staggs just Facebook friended me. Pam freakin' Staggs!
Brick: Who's Pam Staggs?
Mike: She's that Wheel of Fortune lady your mom went to high school with.
Frankie: She's not just the Wheel of Fortune lady, Mike. She won a million dollars! She solved "pardon my French" with just a "p" and an "r." And I thought it was, "Purell my friend." I know she moved to St. Louis, but then I didn't hear a thing after that.
Brick: This close to not asking.
Mike: Yeah.
Frankie: Like, I couldn't make the first move. She's Pam Staggs! And now she has friended me. Me, Mike, me!
Mike: You do realize you're an adult now?

Axl: All right, fine, I'll just keep walking backwards around campus. This could be a date right here.
Devin: Except it's not.
Axl: Why not? We went out, had a great time, I don't get it. Is there someone else? Am I hideous to you?
Devin: Look, I like you, Axl. I'm just not sure I can do this whole dating thing. I have soccer practice every day, and my grades suck.
Axl: Mine suck, too. That's another thing we have in common. We're like those two characters from that book we never read.

Frankie: Help! Pam Staggs is here! Right outside, right now! She's parking down the street. I think I bought us a few minutes. If she asks, the curbs are being painted. Oh, my God. Somebody do something! It's a shantytown in here! Brick! Put on the news or something that makes us look smarter! Stuff a sock in it, Sue! Somebody cover the sinkhole. Why do I have to do everything around here?! When are you people gonna learn to clean up after yourselves?!
Sue: What's going on?
Frankie: Nothing good in this dump! Get that hose out the window! [doorbell rings] All right. Change everything, clean the tub, be different!