Frankie: Sue, are you okay?
Sue: No, not at all. All of a sudden, Matt's turned into the world's worst kisser.
Frankie: What do you mean?
Sue: Out of nowhere, he puts his... his tongue... into... my mouth. Oh, my God. What is that? Who does that?
Frankie: Well...
Sue: I can't help but feel bad for him. It's like he totally forgot how to kiss. I mean, what place does a tongue have in kissing? What should I do? I mean, I don't want to embarrass him, but he has to be told. [gasps] Wait. I think I saw something on kickinitteenstyle.com on how to tell your boyfriend he's a bad kisser. I'm gonna go check it out.
Frankie: [v.o.] I really need to talk to Sue more.

Jenna: Hi. I'm looking for...
Sue: Sue Heck? Well, look no further, 'cause you found her. I'm your mentor! [screams]
Jenna: Hey. Great to meet you. Jenna Taylor.
Sue: I know... Which is why I "Taylor" -made this binder for you. "Sue's tips for Sue-cess." Sit. This is chock ful of inside scoop to help you get through your freshman year. Notice I did not call it "frosh" year. Nobody calls it "frosh." I learned that one the hard way. So how about we dive right in? We have... Stuff to try out for, locker room dos and don'ts, funny things to say when you fall down the stairs.
Jenna: Wow. There lot more to try out for than in middle school. Pretty exciting.
Sue: It's incredibly exciting. Don't expect to make anything. As a freshman, that's off the table. But it's still good to try so you can, you know, get your face out there. And this is for you to keep.
Jenna: Wow. Lucky my mom bought me the big backpack.
Sue: Now we should probably talk at least three times a day. This is my cell. If I don't pick up, don't worry. My battery charger is on the fritz, and they discontinued it and the phone, like, 11 years ago. But if you're ever in a bind and you can't get ahold of me, kickinitteenstyle.com is an excellent resource for all of kinds of advice. It's kinda my Bible.

Frankie: [sighs] Look, we know an act of God when we see one, okay? We've had rain from our ceiling. We've had floods from our dishwasher. We've had bedbugs, tornadoes, black mold, red ants, a frog infestation! Yeah. Frogs. It's the end of days at our house. I am not kidding you! Look, in other people's cases, God works in mysterious ways, but not in ours. With us, he's pretty straightforward. And we are not people who ask for a lot. But we are people who demand what is ours and what is right, and if you cannot get with that, then maybe you need to get your supervisor, because I don't think that you want good, paying customers like us driving away angry.
[cut to a well wrapped-up Mike and Frankie driving home as the wind blows:]
Frankie: I'm so angry.

Dr. Fulton: One surefire way of making friends? Finding something the other kids are into and gettin' on board with that program.
[cut to Brick on the playground surrounded by kids who aren't moving:]
Dr. Fulton: Hey, Brick. Uh... I thought today's assignment was playing tag.
Brick: I am. I've achieved the highest level of tag. I'm it.

Axl: Oh, my God. School Sue is even more annoying than home Sue. Would you just relax? We got two weeks. Come find me in 13 1/2 days.
Sue: Axl, you cannot wait till the night before!
Axl: Sure I can. That's what they want us to do.
Sue: What?
Axl: It's true, Sue. Teachers are lazy. They know it only takes a day to do a project, but if they gave us assignments every day, they'd have to grade 'em every day. They don't want it, we don't want it. It's an unspoken agreement. Who are you to mess with the American educational system? We're not number one in the world for nothing. Suck it, China! That's why they gotta make all our stuff for us.