Brick: But I was actually on top of it this year. Look. I already made you a card. "To the woman who gave birth to me. Love, Brick." Wow. [rips up piece of paper] Guess I did all that work for nothing.

Frankie: Or how about this? Instead of spending one day doing nice things for me, how about you spread out the niceness throughout the year?
Axl: Oh, my God. I knew it. I knew it was a trap. This is way worse than Mother's Day. Now we're supposed to be nice to her all the time?
Frankie: Okay, forget it. You don't have to be nice to me on Mother's Day or any other day of the year.

Frankie: [v.o.] So, Mother's Day was off, and I was feeling good. Not really. I was starving all day. I wonder what's in the fridge. I think there's only half a head of lettuce. Why did I even buy lettuce? Who even eats lettuce? A rabbit? Wait. Didn't we have a rabbit once? Where'd that rabbit go? God, I'm hungry. [sighs] Ooh, Bodean's Fresh Fare. Ooh, that's the nice market with the good chicken. Should I? Fancy chicken? No, you know what? I gave up my Mother's Day. I'm gonna treat myself to chicken in the car. [scanner beeping] Or chicken in line.

Sue: What's with the basket?
Frankie: I'm putting it together for Grandma for Mother's Day. Check it out. I've got all her favorite stuff... Jordan Almonds, a pre-highlighted TV Guide, and a pair of tweezers 'cause she kept asking me if I took her good tweezers when she was here. And I yelled at her and then I realized I actually had by mistakes.

Nancy: So, how's everything with you guys?
Frankie: Oh, we're good. Haven't seen much of Axl 'cause he's always in and out. And Mike's up to something 'cause he's obviously lying to me, but he's so bad at it. I think he's planning something for Mother's Day.
Nancy: Oh, that's great!
Frankie: No, it's not. He's the worst gift giver of all time. It's gonna be horrible. It's always horrible.
Nancy: Aww. Poor Mike.
Frankie: [sighs] You know what, you're right. He does try. I feel bad 'cause I'm not good at hiding my disappointment. But, you know, it's hard to pretend to be excited when you open the box and it's yellow pants. I'm not Meryl Streep.
Nancy: I hear you. Sometimes, you wish you could just see the gift first so you can practice your reaction.
Frankie: [chuckles] Yeah. Hold on. You might be onto something. If I knew what my sucky gift was ahead of time, I could pre-disappoint myself and fake being grateful. Let me try it. Oh, look! Third notice on the gas bill. I love it! [chuckles]
Nancy: Frankie, you're so funny. Seriously, you need to pay that.