Frankie: [v.o.] So Mother's Day was here, and I woke up to a sound I'd never heard before... Silence.
Frankie: Mike? Axl? Brick? Sue?
Frankie: [v.o.] I didn't know what to do first. Read... Sleep... Ooh, watch Oprah... Ooh, maybe I'd even go to the bathroom without someone pounding on the door. Damn it. Don't have to go. Since I accidentally borrowed a few People magazines from my last dentist visit, I decided to read. And then I remembered something, I'm blind. But when I went to the junk drawer for my glasses, stupid thing was stuck. But you know what? Not a problem. I had a whole free day ahead of me, and I'd been wanting to fix that drawer for weeks. An hour later, I was done. Now I just had to put the giant screwdriver back where it belonged, and the rest of the day was mine.
Frankie: Oh, there's that flashlight. [sighs]
Frankie: [v.o.] So I decided to go through the batteries because you gotta have a flashlight in the house with batteries. But when I went to put it in Mike's nightstand, it was stuck, too. And then I found something you never want to find in your husband's nightstand. Something I couldn't ignore. An unpaid gas bill.
Frankie: [on the phone] Billing! Billing! I pressed "4." I want to talk to a human. Human! Yuck.
Frankie: [v.o.] And then after defrosting the freezer and scotchgarding the winter shoes, I don't even know how I ended up here.
Frankie: Crap. [pulls watch out of the toilet] Oh, no!
Frankie: [v.o.] It can't be 7:45! This can't be happening. I blew my whole Mother's Day.

Mike: How could we forget Mother's Day again? I count on you guys to remember this stuff.
Axl: How was I supposed to know it's even on a Sunday this year? I'm not a calendar.

Sue: Brick, what are you doing? You were supposed to be making a list of potential Mom gifts.
Brick: You said I was spending too much time with the microfiche, and you were right. I thought I could never love again. But I've discovered something so much better. Have you heard of this "Val-U Pack"? It's loaded with literally hundreds of dollars worth of savings, and it comes in this handy carrying case. Look at all these typefaces... italic, bold, serif, sans serif... it's a veritable font of fonts! And so much creative wordplay. Check out this gutsy spelling of "Through"... T-H-R-U! It's almost naughty.
Sue: Yeah, I've heard of 'em, Brick. Everyone has. They come every week.
Brick: What?! How could we be passing up all these great deals? "Free brake inspection at Tire Time," "$10 off Captain Suds power wash," oh, and check this out, walk-in tubs. All these years, we've been climbing into our tubs like idiots!
Sue: This is not what I meant when I said you should start living life.
Brick: "Half off your next pair of contact lenses." I hope I have bad eyesight 'cause if they botch my... laser surgery... this lawyer will hunt them down!

Sue: I cannot believe you have a fake ID.
Brick: Font Club is very underfunded. That's how we used to raise money... our treasurer has low scruples and a gift. Well, he did, until he got expelled.
Sue: Yeah, but come on, Brick, you don't exactly look 32.
Brick: [frames his face] Look at me from here to here.
Sue: I see it now.
Brick: I voted in the last election.
Waitress: Welcome to King's Head. We got a special tonight on $2 whiskey shots.
Brick: Oh, no, no, no. My ID is fake.
Sue: Two ginger ales and we'll try the 50% off fish and chips.
Brick: I think you're gonna want to roll out the red carpet when you see that we have a coupon from the Val-U Pack.

Sue: Brick! Are you not getting my texts? We have to figure out Mother's Day.
Frankie: Oh, if it were 1947, we could take her to Collier's Family Restaurant, but it closed in 1983 due to a fire and never re-opened.
Sue: That's great! But we got to find someplace to take Mom in this century.
Brick: Ahh, 1983... that was Box Number Nine. I worked my way through all nine boxes of microfiche I got from the library. And it's over.
Sue: Really, Brick? You read all that microfiche?
Brick: Yep. Nine years worth of stories... done. I should've appreciated it more. I guess I could go back and look through 'em again. But, it's not the same knowing there aren't any new ones coming.
Sue: Okay, get up. Get up. Get up! Stop living in the past. You have spent the last year hunched over that thing, missing out on life. There is a whole world out there, Brick. It's called Orson, Indiana.
Brick: Hey, you grieve for the microfiche in your way, and I'll grieve in mine.