Angelo: Oh, Sophia. I was getting ready to go to the shelter. What are you doing here?
Sophia: Angelo, you're my big brother. I can only come to you. I'm in trouble.
Angelo: Then the boy will marry you.

Sophia: I should have known better. It's like when they were young. Whenever Gloria took one of Dorothy's old toys, Dorothy would get interested again and want it back. I can still hear her yelling, "Gloria took my stick. Gloria took my stick."
Angelo: Boy, we come from a poor family.

Sal: [thunder rumbling] Uh-oh.
Sophia: What is it? What's going on?
Sal: You're not gonna believe this, Sophia, but God, Sophia. Sophia, God.
Sophia: Wow, now I see where Jesus got those eyes.
Sal: [shush] He's talking. Yeah, yes, I understand, God. I know these things happen. What? Well, if you want. [as James Cagney] You dirty rat.
Sophia: Sal, you look so sad. What's wrong?
Sal: God says it's not your time yet. You gotta go back, Sophia.
Sophia: But I wanna be with you. I don't wanna go back.
Sal: He pretty much gets his way in these things. Besides, someone's got to take care of little spumoni-face.
Sophia: Who?
Sal: Dorothy. When I worked late, I'd come home, we had our little secret ice cream club, and that was the nickname I gave her.
Sophia: And what was her nickname for you?
Sal: Favorite parent. [thunder rumbling] It's time, Sophia.
Sophia: Do I have to?
Sal: Don't be so sad. We'll be together again.
Sophia: I love you, Sal.
Sal: And I love you. And tell my little spumoni-face something. I'm proud of her.

Sophia: Dorothy, I need to get close to the Pope so I can ask him to come and bless my friend Agnes in the hospital.
Blanche: Oh, well, now, isn't that sweet? But, honey, with all those people, there's no way you're ever going to get the Pope to notice you.
Sophia: [taking out a foam finger] Oh, he'll notice me.

Sophia: I just want you to know, Marvin, since this is our fourth date, I wouldn't blame you if you tried to steal a little kiss.
Marvin: That's because you're very understanding.
Sophia: Maybe I'm being a little too subtle here. Give me your hand, Marvin. Now, what do you feel?
Marvin: A MedicAlert tag?
Sophia: It's my heart. Can't you feel it pounding?
Dorothy: [entering] Would anyone here care for an-
Sophia: Get out! Get out! Get out!

Sophia: Don't you think I know what this is all about? It's about that British Invasion that's been going on in your bedroom.

Sophia: My God, Dorothy, did you see all the reporters out there?
Dorothy: I know. This is becoming a media circus.
Sophia: And they really hate you. "The Big Bug Lady," they call you. You deserve a better nickname. I don't know, something like, "Big Mean Landlady," or "Big Mean Dorothy." Something with "big mean."

Dorothy: Nah, I didn't bust out. The exterminator came this morning and the building inspector said we could leave. So, it's over.
Sophia: You don't sound very happy.
Dorothy: Well, to tell you the truth, I'm a little confused.
Sophia: About what?
Dorothy: About Stan.
Sophia: Oh, geez, you didn't shack up with him again?

Rose: Are you going to take Rose to that dirty picture place?
Blanche: Yep. I'm just sorry I didn't think of it in time to have her picture painted. I've always wanted to sit for a portrait. An artist could use his palette to bring out my distinctive personality, my Southern fieriness. He could showcase my inner beauty.
Sophia: Plus, he could cheat and paint your head to scale.

Dorothy: You know, Ma, I've been thinking. Since I got a raise in salary, you should get one in your allowance, too.
Sophia: And you ask why I love this woman? Somebody deserves a hug for that. But before I do, let's find out exactly how much I love you. [Dorothy hands Sophia a note] Ah, come on. I love you more than that. Stan loved you more than that. [another] Love, love, love that woman.