Rose: Oh, speaking at Career Day is quite a responsibility. I still remember Career Day back in St. Olaf.
Sophia: Check, please.
Rose: Gunther Hanchap, St. Olaf's leading shepherd and notary, came to speak. It was so moving when he talked about his solitary existence with the sheep. No human contact for months at a time. Ugh. Just building a special relationship with God's simple creatures. I really wanted to help.
Blanche: So you decided to become a shepherd?
Rose: No. I decided to give Gunther a case of Scotch. And he really appreciated it, until he discovered what mean drunks sheep are. They're kind of like cows when they're drunk. You know what I mean?

Sophia: Oh, wait a minute, pussycat, I almost forgot. I packed your lunch.
Dorothy: Oh, Ma, you didn't have to do that.
Sophia: I wanted to. Besides, it's the exact same lunch I packed you on your first day of school. Oh. Salami and a thermos of wine. Remember, Dorothy, when you go to work today, be proud. You're a Petrillo, which in Italian means, "Hey, I'm on a break here."

Randy: Hey, listen, if there's anything I can ever do for you, you let me know, huh?
Dorothy: Well, you know, actually, I I do have an idea for a new video game.
Randy: Really?
Dorothy: Yeah. See, there's this very old, white-haired mother who keeps talking and talking and talking, and there're all these different ways to kill her.
Randy: Sounds kind of weird.
Dorothy: No, I've thought it all out. And then when you arrive at level four, then you get to just nuke her. I mean, just nuke the hell out of her!