Dorothy: I wanted you to come down here so you'd see how good I was at firing up a class, but obviously it backfired.
Randy: Hey, hey, it doesn't matter. Look, this is a very easy job. You know who did it before you? A tape recorder. So, enjoy it. This is my way of saying thank you.
Dorothy: No, I appreciate the gesture, but, um, I think I'm better off in high school.
Randy: Why? What can you get there that I'm not giving you here?
Dorothy: A student like you. You know, all these gentlemen were goof-offs. And you were a goof-off, but I managed to cut you off at the pass. I figure the pass is about the 10th grade. And that's where I belong.

Miles: Listen, let me tell you something. Back when I was in the army, inside my locker I kept a picture of Betty Grable. And she was wearing a lot less than you were wearing in my birthday photo. Sweetheart, she was the darling of America.
Rose: Miles, she was in her 20s, and she had the most beautiful legs on the planet.
Miles: Uh! The second most beautiful.
Rose: Oh, Miles.
Miles: Rita Hayworth had a set of gams on her, boy!

Rose: Good night, Charlie. I love you.

Mrs. Lindstrom: Personally, I don't see anything wrong with dating a younger man. The three years I had with Ben were some of the happiest of my life.
Rose: Mother!
Mrs. Lindstrom: After Daddy died and you kids moved out, there was just no way I could handle the place by myself. So I hired a farmhand. He was such a nice young man. He raved about my cooking. I guess they didn't feed him very well in prison. Anyway, we just loved being with each other. Of course, it was a particularly Ionely time for me and it was nice to have someone to talk to. And after awhile, he moved in. I don't think I could have gotten through those years without Ben. But when it was over, it was over. But we were both better off for having known each other.
Rose: Mother, how could you? A drifter? An ex-con? [off her mother's stern look] Oh, I'm sorry. I- I- You said he made you happy, that's what matters. Yeah, he was probably very nice for a drifting ex-con.

Rose: What if she marries him? What'll happen to us? This house is hers.
Dorothy: Then we'll move.
Rose: We can't afford to buy a house. What do we have for collateral? A gay cook?
Dorothy: Oh, come on, Rose. Nobody is getting married. Now, let's go talk to Blanche.
Rose: Dorothy, we'll become bag ladies!

Rose: In the old country when a woman dumps a man, the man is allowed to shave the woman's head and make her wear an itchy hat.
Dorothy: I hear Pakistan has the same penalty for jaywalking.

Dorothy: We can't let them go through with it.
Blanche: Dorothy, they're adults. Adults can do whatever they want to.
Rose: Not necessarily. Adults aren't allowed to ride the little horsey in front of the A&P.

Clayton: Well, let's just say Blanche has it in her head what type is right for me, and she's way off.
Rose: I'll bet I could sit here for a minute and tell you what your type is. I'm good at this. Gosh, I'm stuck.
Clayton: Well, you haven't even started.
Rose: No, I'm stuck on the gum somebody left on this bench.

[flashback:]
Yvonne: Hello. My name is Yvonne. Have you been here before?
Blanche: See? You go to a woman's gym, you get hit on by a woman.
Yvonne: I work here.
Blanche: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply anything.
Rose: She just thought you were a lesbian.

Blanche: My little girl is gonna have a baby by artificial insemination. I just can't bear to think about it. I'm just being silly, aren't I? For God's sake, somebody say something!
Rose: Eww.
Dorothy: Big help.
Blanche: Dorothy, what about you? You're always the sensible one around here, the free, modern thinker who keeps up with the times. Now, what do you think?
Dorothy: Eww.