Sophia: You're lucky you have a choice. My marriage was arranged. I didn't have any choice in the matter.
Dorothy: You mean, you didn't pick Pop?
Sophia: He didn't pick me, either. We learned to love each other, thank God, but it wasn't our idea. There were eight unmarried girls and eight unmarried boys in the village that spring.
Blanche: How'd they decide who went with who?
Sophia: Height. If I hadn't stood on that rock, I'd have ended up with Luigi the pig-boy.

Dorothy: And I was feeling jealous and Ionely and... God knows what else.
Blanche: Magenta.
Dorothy: Excuse me?
Blanche: Magenta. That's what I call it when I get that way. All kinds of feelings tumbling all over themselves. Well, you know, you're not quite blue because you're not really sad and although you're a little jealous, you wouldn't say you're green with envy, and every now and then you realize you're kinda scared but you'd hardly call yourself yellow. I hate that feeling. I just hate it. And I hate the color magenta. That's why I named it that. Magenta. No way to really explain it but, fortunately, between friends, you don't have to.

Blanche: Oh, girls, I'm so sorry to be late. I ran out of gas on the way home. It was just horrible. Nobody would stop to help me. This could never have happened in the Old South. What has become of chivalry, when men used to open doors for you, pull out your chair, tip their hat, kiss your hand, help you down out of your carriage, leave calling cards on little silver salvers?
Dorothy: So how far back do you want to go, Blanche? Do you still want to be able to vote?

Rose: Oh, Dorothy, you scared me. What are you doing up so late?
Dorothy: Honey, do you know what's behind that wall that you're banging on?
Rose: A lateral fusion pipe.
Dorothy: And do you know what's on the other side of that lateral fusion pipe?
Rose: No.
Dorothy: My head!

Stan: [sobbing] She left me.
Dorothy: What?
Stan: Chrissy left me for a younger man.
Dorothy: Younger than Chrissy? Where did she meet him, Camp Snoopy?

Blanche: Rose, what happened?
Rose: My brakes went out, and the car wouldn't stop. My whole life flashed before my eyes. And the Nuderflaken twins played a bigger part than I had realized.
Blanche: That must've been awful.
Rose: Oh, it was. I don't know any Nuderflaken twins. The mind is a powerful thing.
Dorothy: Think of the 99% you don't use.

Rose: Four nights in a row and I still can't sleep.
Sophia: Please, I haven't had a decent nights sleep since I was 70.
Rose: You're right, I shouldn't complain. I mean, four nights is nothing compared to Elsa Yuderruden back in St.
Olaf. She stayed awake for 17 straight days in a rocking chair marathon. Of course, she couldn't have done it without moral support of her children and her husband. And his cattle prod.