Barry: I'm freaking out, man!
Pops: Is that squirrel taunting you again?

Beverly: Ah! We won the big case!
Pops: Amazing! How did I play?
Adam: Not great, but Mom was on fire.

Beverly: Good morning, your honorable smush bottom!
Erica: Looking good, Mom!
Beverly: That's because today is the first day of your mama bear's journey to becoming a trial lawyer.
Erica: Well, I know you can do it. I mean, who's better at arguing than you?
Beverly: Well, I did get this suit at half price because of a smudge on the shoulder, which I put there and later removed.
Erica: And those are the kind of questionable morals that will make you an ace attorney.

Erica: Okay, so here's what it takes to become a lawyer. First, you'll have to get ready for the LSATs.
Beverly: Well, I can LSAT or L-stand. I can do it all. [chuckles] Seriously, what is that?
Erica: It's the Law School Admissions Test, which takes about four months to prepare for. And after that, you apply to law school, which is three years.
Beverly: Even for a proven legal eagle like me? I mean, I could've been a lawyer. That's got to count for something.
Erica: It doesn't. Moving on.

Erica: So after you graduate, you'll have to pass the bar.
Beverly: Another test? I just took the "L" one.
Erica: And then you'll get hired at a firm and be an associate and work your way up the ladder until-
Beverly: Eh, Mama's out.
Erica: What?
Beverly: I- I think I'm okay just knowing I could have been a lawyer.
Erica: How can you possibly know that if you gave up after two minutes?
Beverly: Well, when you think about it, I already kind of am a lawyer.
Erica: Except you're not a lawyer, because you did nothing to become one.
Beverly: According to the show L.A. Law, anyone can represent themselves in court, so that kind of makes me a lawyer.
Erica: No, it makes you a person who wants to be a lawyer but isn't one.
Beverly: If I can defend myself in court, then you can, Daddy can, anyone can. So when you think about it, doesn't that make us all lawyers?
Erica: That is an incredibly dumb way to think about it.
Beverly: Hey, I could've been a lawyer, so you show me the respect I could've deserved.

Erica: And that's just one of many exciting options. What about fashion designer?
Beverly: Mmm, my clothes are purely for fun. I don't want to take the joy out of it.
Erica: Or you could be a gastroenterologist.
Beverly: Speaking of which, how did that fiber-rich breakfast work out, hmm?
Erica: Gah, I have so many futures for you on this board. Just pick one and do it!

Beverly: Enough. I'm fine just doing what I do, okay? I don't need some fancy job.
Erica: Yes, you do! Because if you give up on being a lawyer, which is actually doable, then what does that mean for me making it as a musician?
Beverly: Erica, me saying "I could've been a lawyer" has nothing to do with you.
Erica: Of course it does! I dropped out of college just like you, which means I'll just end up being a mom who constantly tells her ungrateful kids that "I could've been a rock star."
Beverly: I don't know whether to be offended or worried, but I don't like either feeling.
Erica: But it's true. Becoming a lawyer is hard, and you gave up on it, like, shockingly fast. And the truth is I'm doing the same thing with my music. Ever since Lainey left [voice breaking] I haven't sung a single note or written any music or even touched my keyboard.
Beverly: Schmoo, you've got it all wrong. I gave up on being a lawyer 'cause that was never really my dream.
Erica: Then why do you always say it?
Beverly: 'Cause it sounds better than my real dream, which is being a mama. [chuckles] I'm living my dream. If music is yours, you can't just give up on it.
Erica: I already have.

Barry: Dad, I just finished my college essay, and I think we should have a little talk.
Murray: Oh, you should have a talk, but not with me.
Barry: Huh?
Murray: I've got an alumnus from Tufts here, and he's gonna interview you. Remember my pal Formica Mike?
Barry: [whispering] Your furniture nemesis?
Murray: I got his mom a great deal on a water bed, so he owes me.
Barry: But The JTP got me thinking, maybe shoulder-padding my resume [whispering] isn't the most honest thing.
Murray: I don't care what the PYT thinks. You go in there and lie and make your dad proud. Come on.

Barry: Uh-huh. Listen, about my resume-
Mike: Oh, your resume, my gosh. This is something special. How does one person find the time?
Barry: "How does one person do all that stuff in one year," you ask? Well, don't. Don't ask.

Erica: Whoa, what's all this?
Beverly: I figured it was time to pursue a new dream.
Erica: I thought you said being a mom was your dream.
Beverly: And it is. But you were right. What kind of example would I be setting if I just gave up on all my other dreams?
Erica: These are just recipes.
Beverly: I've decided to write a cookbook.
Erica: Oh, my God, yes! I pitched you diplomat and not cookbook? What is wrong with me?
Beverly: Nothing! You still got me here! So, thank you, Boopie.
Erica: No need to thank me. It's just good to know your dreams don't end with me.
Beverly: And even better? Your dreams are just starting, and there's no way I'm gonna let you give up before you even begin.
Erica: I just picked an impossible dream, you know?
Beverly: Schmoopie, all dreams seem impossible. You've just got to put in the work.