‘Hersheypark’
Season 6, Episode 4 - Aired October 17, 2018
After Beverly guilts Adam into letting her chaperone a school trip, she shares her tactics with her fellow parents. Meanwhile, Geoff doesn't want to go into his father's ophthalmologist business.
Quote from Dave Kim
Dave Kim: What are we gonna do, man? I can't ever read another one of these. I cried in my mom's bosom. Her bosom!
Quote from Murray
Mr. Glascott: I expected more from you, Mr. Schwartz. Anything to say before I decide your punishment?
Murray: Yeah. Why am I here? The kid's got his own dad. Call him.
Geoff: Yeah, but he's busy, and he'll be so mad.
Murray: But I'm busy and I'm mad.
Quote from Coach Mellor
Coach Mellor: You're mad? My jaw is seizing up with anger.
Mr. Glascott: Dang it, Rick. You got to chew some Gator Gum like a grown man and calm the heck down. Follow me.
Quote from Geoff
Coach Mellor: Schwartz, got a bunch of scoop balls that need scooping, so have at it.
Geoff: Nah, man. I'm good.
Coach Mellor: Excuse me?
Geoff: I'm tired of being Mr. Pushover who always scoops the scoop balls after class. As leader of the JTP, I say Andy does it.
Barry: Hey! He's not the leader of the JTP. You don't have to do that, Andy.
Andy: But Geoff said I should.
Barry: Well, I say Geoff scoops the scoop balls!
Geoff: You scoop the scoop balls!
Barry: I'm not scooping no scoop balls!
Coach Mellor: Somebody scoop the scoop balls.
Matt: I'll scoop the scoop balls, okay?
Barry: Don't you dare scoop the scoop balls, Matthew!
Coach Mellor: Fine! You'll all scoop the scoop balls!
Geoff: Or better yet, [bleep], why don't you scoop my [bleep]?
Quote from Adam
Adam: All I know is that this ends today! I've waited my whole life to eat eight pounds of chocolate, then ride crazy roller coasters till I hork. I'm an adult man now and shall not be controlled. It's time I finally face Beverly Goldberg once and for all!
Dave Kim: You're gonna lie to her, aren't you?
Adam: Right to her face!
Quote from Barry
Geoff: Rest of our lives? Oh, man. That sounds pretty permanent.
Lou Schwartz: Lucky for you, you have your old man's noble profession of ophthalmology pre-selected for you.
Barry: You're so lucky! I have tons of questions about doctoring, Mister Dr. Geoff's Dad!
Lou Schwartz: Okay, I see how passionate you are about medicine. Come by the office and see for yourself what I do.
Barry: I call eyeball holder when you do a head transplant! Boom!
Geoff: I know that's not real science, but I'm still gonna take a walk.
Quote from Erica
Geoff: How's it going?
Erica: Well, my "rock star" booth is an obvious sham, but I'm broke and they got free food, so goin' good.
Quote from Geoff
Geoff: Well, my dad's pushing me into the eyeball game, so gross?
Erica: Dude, you're at a career night. If eye doctoring skeeves you out so much, then go find another job.
Geoff: What? No. I love the human eye, all squishy with its veins and mysterious, disgusting rings.
Erica: Are you gonna hurl?
Geoff: I might.
Quote from Murray
Murray: Hey, you!
Geoff: Me?
Murray: Yeah, you! The kid who ate my corn on the cob. Come here!
Geoff: That was one time two years ago. How is that the only thing he remembers about me?
Erica: He really likes his corn.
Geoff: Why is your dad even at a school event?
Erica: He finds a few idiots to move heavy crap for free and then he calls them interns.
Quote from Coach Mellor
Coach Mellor: Chaperones, we'll meet here at 8:00 A.M. sharp to hit the Hershey Highway before it clogs up. [laughter] All right, grow up.