Barry: After all that power shuffling, she still prefers you. It's insane.
Adam: Everyone has different tastes.
Barry: Different taste is like "Do you like Coke or Pepsi?" This is like "Do you like Coke or lukewarm dishwater that yaps about Star Wars and wear corrective underwear?"
Adam: That was for pelvic alignment! And I've been patient with you 'cause you just got your heart broken, but this is too far.

Barry: I'm sorry for calling you dishwater. You're not. You're a desirable, sensual being with needs and wants.
Adam: Wow.
Barry: I guess my breakup with Ren rocked me pretty hard. It... just feels like no one will ever love me again, you know?
Adult Adam: [v.o.] In that moment, I saw a Barry that I wasn't that familiar with... vulnerable, scared, and defeated. There was nothing I could say. Or was there?
Adam: Yeah, Bar, here's the thing... Jenny is in love with you.
Barry: What?
Adam: It's basically true. I went to claim my prize... her body. But she told me she was just using me to get to you.
Barry: That makes so much sense!
Adam: Of course it does. Obviously, you can't speak to her about this because of all the maritime laws. It'd be stuck in an international tribunal for years.
Barry: I don't want that.
Adam: No one does. But at least you know now you're incredibly special. And no doubt there's someone perfect out there for you. On land.
Barry: You know, you're a pretty good brother.
Adam: Well, I got an older one who's taught me a lot.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Sometimes a white lie can solve a problem. And other times, all you need is the truth.
Pop-Pop: Can I sit?
Murray: Why? So you can pretend to be my dad so I'll give you money?
Pop-Pop: All right, fine. I'm a jerk.
Murray: We're on the same page.
Pop-Pop: Yeah, let me finish. I'm a jerk, so people don't stick around. See, I thought that was okay. But I'm getting older. The other day, I couldn't get my groceries upstairs, and I figured no one's gonna help me. Why would they?
Murray: So, you took me on this cruise so I'd give you money? For what?
Pop-Pop: I don't know. Maybe a nurse? Or someplace that has bars in the shower? I don't know. It's all terrible.
M;What's terrible is that you think you have to bribe me to take care of you.
Pop-Pop: What do you mean? Y-You'd do it for nothing?
Murray: Of course I will. You're my father.
Pop-Pop: Thank you. And now, uh, not for nothing, I enjoyed myself on this tub, uh, with you.
Murray: We had some moments.
Pop-Pop: Yeah, we did.

Adam: Pop-Pop's Hanukkah gifts are here.
Erica: Get ready to be underwhelmed.
Barry: Sweet! A bowling ball?
Adam: With no finger holes.
Barry: Damn it! It's just a 16-pound marble!
Erica: Still better than mine. I got a shower cap. And it's wet!
Adam: But I'm the biggest loser. He got me a box of trash bags.

Pop-Pop: Eh, I could pay.
Beverly: Who is saying those words right now?
Pop-Pop: Me. I'll spring for the whole megillah.
Barry: I think you're confused, Pop-Pop. We're talking about a luxurious vacation, not the nickel you tape to our birthday cards.
Pop-Pop: I wanna treat you, huh? For Hanukkah or whatever.
Murray: You usually buy the boys nail clippers or pencil sharpeners.
Adam: One time, you gave me the Yellow Pages.
Pop-Pop: For killing spiders.
Barry: I got some Lawry's Seasoned Salt.
Pop-Pop: Admittedly, that was a re-gift.
Murray: And how are you gonna pay for it? You live above a Burger King.
Pop-Pop: You don't know my finances. I got investments, Lord Big Crap of the County think-he's-better-than-me.

Beverly: Murray, don't you get it? You and your father have patched things up, but he wants to take it to the next level.
Murray: We're good. When I see him, I don't feel boiling rage.
Beverly: Maybe you could get closer and feel something even better.
Murray: Like a mild warmth?
Beverly: Like love. The thing you never had as a child. It's right there for the taking.
Murray: All right, let's go on the dumb ocean.
Beverly: Yay! It's a snuggle ship!
Adam & Barry: Oh!

Lou Schwartz: There they are! Five minutes late!
Geoff: Sorry. Holiday traffic.
Linda Schwartz: You know to plan for traffic, Geoffy. Remember what we always say...
All: "Lateness is the opposite of greatness."
Geoff: I know, I know.
Erica: My family also has a saying about being tardy... "Why are we even going to this thing?" And then we fight and don't go. [chuckles]

Beverly: Yay! St. Johns! Oh, tropical waters, white sands, fruity drinks!
Pop-Pop: So, why do you all look like Hawaiian lawyers?
Beverly: 'Cause we're going to St. Johns!
Pop-Pop: Yeah, St. John, Canada. It's a nice town. Good puffin skewers, I hear.
Barry: What old man words is he saying?
Pop-Pop: Puffin. It's like a fat penguin. What, are you too good to eat an endangered seabird?
Adam: Yes.

Beverly: Ben, when you said we were going to St. John's, we naturally assumed you were talking about the tropical paradise.
Pop-Pop: Have you seen the prices of Caribbean cruises? Hmm? No, thank you.
Barry: Are you telling me there's gonna be no bikini-clad babes?
Pop-Pop: Oh, not a one. The average temp is 7. The average age is 77.
Barry: Those are all the wrong sevens.
Pop-Pop: That is a stupid way to say thank you.

Jenny: Hi, I'm Jenny, your cruise director. How can I help you get settled?
Beverly: We just got the shocking news that this is an Arctic tour, so we were wondering if there's anything fun to do on board.
Jenny: Sometimes you can get a glimpse of the Northern Lights.
Beverly: Oh, that's something. Is it beautiful?
Jenny: I wouldn't know. But I've only been on this ship for many years.
Beverly: Follow-up question... why the [bleep] would anyone go on a trip like this?
Jenny: We have HBO.