Mr. Perott: Here's some advice... Right after you graduate, take a couple years and bike right across Africa. See where this mixed-up world got started.
Adam: I can't hear a single word you're saying because I'm positive you're gonna lop off your thumb.
Mr. Perott: What's that? This silly thing?
Adam: Haw! [exhales sharply] That was so terrifyingly masculine, sir.
Mr. Perott: Sure. So, what are we thinking here? College? Trade school? The Army?
Adam: You probably can't tell, but I'm a...
Mr. Perott: Hardcore nerd?
Adam: Whoa! You can't call me that.
Mr. Perott: I can. Because I was one, too.
Adam: That's you? You're so...
Mr. Perott: Scrawny, zitty, pasty?
Adam: Exactly. How is this kid you?
Mr. Perott: Well, I got a haircut, I slapped on some acne cream, and then I hit the gym. But that's only part of it, Adam.
Adam: I need to know. Tell me everything.
Mr. Perott: Okay.
Adam: You're just gonna do it?
Mr. Perott: Why not? I mean, I already told three students to bike across Africa this morning. I can phone it in for the rest of the day.

Beverly: Who wants to play Boggle?
Barry: Pass. I used the timer as salt by mistake.
Pops: Here's an oldie but a goodie. Tiddlywinks.
Barry: "Tiddly-winks"? Tell me more about this arousing game.
Pops: Well, you use a big disc to get a little disc into a medium cup.
Barry: Oh, I've been betrayed again. Just call it "Disc-cup" so I know it sucks!

Murray: I'm calling it. TV wins.
Beverly: You can't just leave.
Murray: I'm up already. Eh.
Erica: Me, too. I'm gonna use my "get out of hell free" card.
Adam: Same.
Beverly: Tiddlywinks? This is all your fault.
Pops: On the bright side, Bevy, we were all together for a little while.
Beverly: Three minutes.
Pops: Oy. Man, it dragged.

Beverly: What do ya say, Bar? How about a heady game of Stratego with your mama?
Barry: That's so sweet you'd think I'd do that with you.
Beverly: Damn it! All I wanted was one special night with my family!
Barry: Here's a healthy outlet for your anger... Flip the board.
Beverly: Well, that doesn't sound very healthy.
Barry: Do it... Or I will.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] It was January 22nd, 1980-something, and for the first time in my life, science class was gonna get interesting.
Dr. Katman: Okay, loyal students, I want to tell you about a great book I read on helium. Couldn't put it down. [chuckles]
Johnny: Was that a joke? 'Cause it went over like a lead balloon. Damn it. Have I been learning stuff?
Dr. Katman: If that didn't make you laugh, neither will this... I'm assigning partners for your midterm lab. [students groan] Adam Goldberg, ah, you're with Brea Bee.
Adam: I be with Brea-who?
Adult Adam: [v.o.] But I knew exactly who she was. Everyone did. She was Brea Bee, and she was the coolest girl in school.

Brea: What's up, Adam?
Adam: You know my name?
Brea: Uh, yeah. We've been in school together since kindergarten.
Adam: For sure. The big K. Followed by "indergarten." Kindergarten, when you put it all together. Which you already had. But, moving on...
Brea: Brighton Beach Memoirs.
Adam: It's a coming-of-age comedy about a boy with a crazy family. It checks a lot of boxes for me.
Brea: I love Neil Simon. Did you know Ferris Bueller's in Biloxi Blues? [Adam stammers] Oh, my God. Are you choking?
Adam: You not only know who Neil Simon is, but you reference Matthew Broderick by his iconic character's name.

Dan: You definitely read the situation wrong. There's no way Brea Bee even knows your name.
Brea: Hey, Adam.
Adam: Hey, Brea.
Dave Kim: Holy crap!
Dan: I know the guy who knows Brea.
Carla: I find you attractive now.
Adam: Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go share my lunch hour with her.
Dave Kim: Just like that? It's one thing to vibe over chem lab. It's another thing entirely to sit with the cool kids.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Maybe, but I didn't care. After science class, I was flying high.
Adam: I'm going in.

Brian Corbett: Hey, you lost, bro?
Brian Walls: Yeah. That's a no-go. This is the cool table and you're...
Johnny: A flaming hot turd of nothing. [eats funyun]
Adam: But Brea Bee is my lab partner.
Brian Walls: We don't make the rules.
Brian Corbett: I mean, we do. And you could try to appeal, but I'll bury you in paperwork.
Adam: She's right there. Just let me make eye contact, and she'll wave me in.
Johnny: Bro, stop trying to violate the well-established social hierarchy of the cafeteria.
Adam: But I'm cool... You know, in an offbeat, non-traditional way that'll surely have more value in adulthood.
Johnny: Yeah, I'm gonna dump this dry salad on your head. It's still embarrassing, but it cleans up easy.

Erica: Molly Ringwald really is pretty in pink.
Geoff: Redheads traditionally can't pull off a gentle blush, but that's how great an actress she is... She has color range, too.
Erica: Can I tell you something? I really like living with you.
Geoff: Aw. Me too. You know, except for the debilitating fear of being found out by our parents.
Erica: Yeah, I'm good with it.
Geoff: What a fun and contrary view of the situation. You know what else could be fun... We tell them?
Erica: Naw. This is easier.

Adam: Okay, I kind of hit it off with this girl, but I think she might be way too cool for me. What do I do?
Pops: Just be yourself.
Adam: And?
Pops: No "and." That's it.
Adam: You never let me down, Pops.