Geoff: Oh. Call 911!
Erica: [scoffs] Relax. It's just a love tap.
Geoff: That's a dent!
Barry: No way. It's a ding, at best.
Erica: Or a beauty mark. Like Cindy Crawford.
Geoff: We've got to leave a note.
Erica: Why would we leave a note?
Geoff: The note should have our contact info so they can follow up and we can help pay for repairs.
Barry: Geoff! We did nothing wrong here. But everyone should run and hide.
Erica: Yeah, the more time we spend here, the more it seems like I made the dent.
Geoff: But you did make it! Oh, my God! Where did you learn this behavior?

Geoff: And I don't like this side of you, Erica.
Erica: Take it easy, Saint Geoff. No one got hurt.
Barry: Until now. [punches Geoff's arm]
Geoff: Ow! Why?!
Barry: I did unto others before they did unto me.
Erica: Golden Rule.
Murray: I did a good job with you two.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] While Geoff was learning something new about my family, Mr. Glascott was about to educate my classmates.
Mr. Glascott: Okay, students, starting tomorrow, we will be switching to the Food Wheel, which is five food groups instead of four. The state candy lobby has added sweets as an important part of your diet. Now they asked me to sing "Pour Some Sugar on Me." [chuckles] [clears throat]
Adam: I have something to say.
Mr. Glascott: Dang it. I practiced that nasty song.

Adam: Fellow students, I just saw a movie that taught me a shocking lesson. As we sit here, safe and secure in the City of Brotherly Love, racism is still alive and well... in Brooklyn!
Brian Walls: Uh.. what?
Adam: I didn't believe it either. But there are still people out there that hate others simply for the color of their skin.
Dave Kim: "Still"?
Mr. Glascott: Where are you going with this?
Adam: To the only place I can go... the end of racism forever. Meet me in the yearbook office to join the cause!
Mr. Glascott: In conclusion, racism bad, sugar good. [chuckles] I really let this one get away from me.

Dave Kim: Dude, no one's coming.
Adam: What? Why not?
Brian Walls: Because you said some dumb things that were also very stupid.
Adam: What's stupid about being concerned with racism in the streets and pizzerias of Brooklyn?
Dave Kim: You don't honestly think that racism's only happening in a single borough, do you?
Adam: It's spread to other areas of New York? Have we lost Staten Island?
Dave Kim: Racism's everywhere, man.
Brian Walls: Yeah. It's in the school.
Adam: Really? I mean, our school's not exactly a model of diversity, but I've never witnessed any racisms.
Dave Kim: Well, it's here. And you call racist acts "racisms"?
Adam: I never said I was an expert. But, luckily, I have strong opinions. I was thinking our group's motto should be... "Eracism."
Dave Kim: Wow. Our work here is done.

Dave Kim: You have no idea what we deal with.
Brian Walls: Like my English teacher only calls on me when we're reading Othello. I mean, does he only ask the Danish kids to read when we're doing Hamlet?
Adam: Magnus mostly keeps to himself, but I see what you're saying.
Dave Kim: And why does my Home-Ec teacher keep calling me Connie Chung as a joke?
Adam: Because Connie Chung is a national treasure?
Dave Kim: No! I mean, granted, she is. Maury Povich hit the jackpot when he married her. But it doesn't make it okay.
Adam: [sighs] I feel terrible for not seeing these things or doing anything to stop them. So many racisms.
Dave Kim: Stop calling it that, but yes. And there's tons more. I've jotted down a few incidents. [binder thuds]
Adam: Wow, that is a thick binder. Maybe even too much to digest in one sitting? [off Dave and Brian's look] The fight is ours. Let's dig in.

Geoff: Okay. While grocery shopping, would you eat a grape without paying?
Erica: Sure, victimless crime.
Geoff: What about the grape farmer who spends his whole day bent over in the sun only to have you steal his wares?
Barry: If it's so tough, that farmer should quit and try something new. Like BMX-ing or high finance or grape farming. I panicked, couldn't think of a third one.

Geoff: Next question. I'm sure that you've taken a penny, but have you ever left a penny?
Erica: Not even once.
Barry: I've taken the little tray that holds the pennies.
Geoff: Next question... Would you ever exceed the speed limit to get to a dentist's appointment on time?
Erica: Did it. Got there. Realized it was the wrong day. Mom called and made the dentist come in anyway.
Barry: Speed limit?

Adult Adam: [v.o.] As Geoff's theory was proven false, I was eager to figure out why I had been kept blind to the truth.
Adam: Mom, how come you never told me racism is still around?
Pops: What an entrance. This house never disappoints.

Beverly: Racism? Yes, that is a valid topic of conversation, and one that I am happy to answer with my words, and, uh, of course...
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Whenever my mother was confronted with a tough question, she answered the only way Beverly Goldberg could... blatant distractions.
[montage:]
Beverly: Sundaes! Topped with crème de menthe. It's got alcohol in it, so you can get a little bit drunk like a babysitter would.
Beverly: Who's up for Scrabble? I'll allow Star Wars names.
Beverly: Look what I found. An 8x10 of Vigo the Carpathian signed by former boxer and current actor Wilhelm von Homburg.
Adam: No distractions, woman. I want answers. Do you want me to live in a bubble of ignorance?
Beverly: I prefer a bubble of happiness. Hey, let's make bubbles. [blows air]