Geoff: Can't we just have the damage assessed by a mechanic?
John Calabasas: I already did. It's totaled.
Erica: From a ding on the bumper?
John Calabasas: But again, I'm willing to forget the whole thing for another ten hundo?
Geoff: Ten hundo? That's a thousand dollars. And no one says it that way.
John Calabasas: 'Cause I don't like to talk about money. But, yes, cash.
Geoff: Please. Haven't you ever loved someone so much that you felt you needed to change them for the better?
John Calabasas: The only things I ever loved were my Adam's apple and my car. And you guys wrecked both of those. Ooh! Ow! [winces] Pain and suffering. Maybe we should throw in another ten hundo on top? Have a great day. [exits]
Erica: And what have we learned?
Geoff: That everyone is terrible and no one is decent.
Barry: He got there.
Erica: There ya go.

Geoff: Huh. Nothing bad happened. I might eat another one.
Barry: Ooh. Playing with fire. But the fire is grapes.
Geoff: Thank you for opening my eyes. Oh, my gosh, am I a bad boy now?
Erica: [chuckles] You are the baddest boy.
Geoff: I am the baddest boy. [grabs more grapes]
Erica: Geoff, I-I think you've made your point.
Geoff: Yeah, you're right. Enough grapes. Onto the bananas!
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Yep, stealing that first grape opened a Pandora's box of supermarket mayhem, leading Geoff to go on the saddest crime spree of all time. This lifetime rule follower was now a grocery store bandit. No pantry staple was safe.

Erica: Oh, Geoff, no.
Barry: What am I seeing right now?
Geoff: W-Why are you all staring at me? This is fine. Erica, tell them it's fine.
Erica: Um...
Geoff: Oh, no! I went too far!
Store Manager: What the hell are you doing?
Erica: Geoff, what are you doing?
Geoff: I don't know! You broke me!
Erica: How did I break you? I didn't tell you to do your unspeakable things to those chickens.
Geoff: Yeah. I'm not even good at being bad. I'll just pay for everything. The car, too. Because I always do what's right. Even if my girlfriend doesn't.

Beverly: Well, we've learned a valuable lesson here today. We should never venture out of our comfort zones.
Adam: What? No. Because of you, I'm just some sheltered kid with no clue about what goes on in the real world. And even worse, I'm a part of the problem. Thanks for nothing.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Even though Geoff knew he'd been scammed, true to his word, he was gonna pay back John Calabasas.
Geoff: Thanks for letting me work off the debt, Mr. Calabasas.
John Calabasas: No problem, kid. Whoa. You're supposed to be in traditional Oktoberfest garb. Are those Mork suspenders?
Geoff: It was surprisingly difficult to find lederhosen in suburban Philly.
John Calabasas: Well, it does draw the eye. I guess that's what's important. Okay. Hop to it.
Geoff: Okay, uh... genuine Berlin Wall for sale! Uh, it's fresh from Germany! Get 'em "wall" you can!

Geoff: Erica? What are you doing here?
Erica: I was gonna ask you the same thing.
Geoff: I'm working off the debt so he doesn't sue us.
Erica: Are these actually from the Berlin Wall?
John Calabasas: Oh. Who's to say they're not?
Erica: Uh, me. Because they're clearly Spanish roof tiles.
John Calabasas: It wasn't all concrete and barb wire. Some of it was quite decorative. Look it up.
Erica: Or clearly stolen from the house being built across the street.

Geoff: Erica, just let it go, okay? The sooner I sell these random historical bricks, the sooner I'm off the hook with this guy.
John Calabasas: The next 6 to 18 months are gonna be quite the ride.
Erica: Yeah, this ends now. Here.
Geoff: What's that?
Erica: I'm paying off this scam artist.
John Calabasas: "Artist." Finally. Thank you. Whoa! This says 87 bucks, okay? That's a bit shy of the vague to hundo that we had discussed.
Erica: That's because I got an estimate, and that is the actual amount it costs to fix the dent.
John Calabasas: For the car. What about my pain and suffering?
Erica: Well, I also went to the DMV and found out that your car is registered to a one Barbara Calabasas.
John Calabasas: I didn't know you were gonna do some light digging. Please don't tell Mom I took her sled for a joyride, okay? That woman has a terrible temper.
Erica: Well, then, take that and get out of here.
John Calabasas: Fine. But the joke's on you, because I'm not fixing the dent. I'm spending all this money on lotto tickets and strawberry milk.

Geoff: You didn't have to do that. This is my fault for believing in the world.
Erica: Stop. That's what I love about you.
Geoff: I don't get it. I thought you wanted me to open my eyes.
Erica: Sure, there are bad people out there. But that just means that the world needs more honest, good ones, like you.
Geoff: So, you don't want me to change?
Erica: Actually, I was hoping you could help me be more like you.
Geoff: Really?
Erica: Yeah. The more time we spend together, the better I'll be, so when we do start a family, I'll be as much of a sucker as you are.
Geoff: Well, lucky for you, I would love to be taken advantage of together.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] With that, Geoff and Erica decided that from then on, they'd hold each other accountable, because that's what you have to do with the people you love, even if that means admitting you were wrong.

Beverly: So, no sequel?
Adam: The first one was a flop, so no.
Beverly: Adam, I'm sorry I sheltered you, but I'm your mama. It's my instinct to protect you from the world.
Adam: But all you've done is keep me in the dark. Walls, Dave Kim, Mr. Glascott? They're confronted with this stuff every day. They don't get to hide from it.
Beverly: So what do you want to do?
Adam: For starters, I want to be a part of the solution. I want to figure out how I can help. It may not be a movie, but I want to make a difference wherever I can.
Beverly: I know you will. And I'm not going to stand in your way. Maybe you'll show me how I can help, too.
Adam: I'd like that.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Truth is, real change starts with tough conversations, 'cause you have to face reality if you want to improve it.
Adam: Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. That's Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. And you would know that if it was in your textbooks where it should be.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Sure, a few people can't change the world all at once, but it's a start, 'cause that's what progress is...
small steps that can lead to something revolutionary. The movies had always inspired me to create, but one in particular inspired me to do the right thing.