Pops: Beverly, the boy deserves the truth. Think about where our people came from.
Adam: I-I thought we came from Abington.
Pops: Murray, please. Jump in any time.
Murray: Well, as you know, I'm not much of a jumper.
Pops: Oh!
Murray: But the boy's turning 12. I figure it's about time.
Adam: I'm a senior in high school, and time for what?
Murray: Here.
Beverly: Murray, no. Not the box of harsh realities.
Murray: Your mom kept those movies away from you, and for the record, I was against it until she made the most convincing pot roast.
Beverly: It's too much too fast. You're gonna short-circuit his innocent little brain.
Murray: We're gonna deal with it the way my dad taught me how to swim. He threw me in the deep end and then went inside to play canasta.
Pops: That may not be a good example.

Adam: Sorry, Mom. Looks like the comfort of your safe bosom ends today, and I deeply regret saying that.

Mr. Glascott: I know it's a lot, but if you keep pushing through, good things can happen.
Adam: Then what should I do?
Mr. Glascott: Maybe something you're good at.
Adam: I like making movies.
Mr. Glascott: There you go. Spike Lee creates films to make the world a more just place. Why not use your much more limited abilities to do the same?
Adam: I'll do it! I'll use my special brand of genius and my parents' money to make a movie that shines a light on racial injustice. Thanks, Mr. G.
Mr. Glascott: Sure.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] As I was off to right society's wrongs, Geoff went right to the produce department to make a point.
Geoff: You were right. Giving our fellow humans the benefit of the doubt was wrong and totally naive on my part. And now I, Geoff Schwartz, will eat a grape without paying.
Erica: Hey, there you go. I'm glad to see you're finally coming around.
Barry: And if anyone asks, you're just "tasting" one "grape" to make "sure" the bunch is okay "for" human "consumption." I may have lost track of where the quotes go.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] While Geoff failed at doing the wrong thing, I had enlisted my mom to help me do the right thing.
Adam: Film screening tomorrow! Have a cookie. Take a bite out of racism.
Beverly: Chocolate with white chocolate chips, huh? Makes you think.
Mr. Glascott: Uh, sorta.

Adam: [v.o. on tape] Long, long ago, robots were owned by man as servants. They were butlers like in Rocky IV or overtaxed laborers like KITT from Knight Rider. But like Johnny in Short Circuit, they soon came alive and demanded rights. This is their story. [majestic music plays]
Mr. Glascott: Wow, such a long and deeply cumbersome title. Is it science fiction?
Adam: It's a combo platter of all my favorite movies with robots in them, but a hidden message about race.
Mr. Glascott: I'm a rom-com guy myself, but I'll give it a whirl.
Beverly: Shh! Here comes my big-screen debut.
Beverly: [on tape] [gasps] Back of the space ship, you dirty hunk of metal.
Adam: [on tape] [robotically] But I'm tired from all the dangerous work you make me do in the Jupiter mines, and would like to sit up front.
Beverly: [on tape] As long as I am the President of the Galaxy, that will never happen.
Mr. Glascott: So the president is a bus driver?
Adam: Space bus driver.

Adam: [on tape] [Austrian accent] Remember when I said, "I'll be back"? Well, here I am.
Mr. Glascott: There's a dang Terminator in this?
Beverly: It's his signature Goldbergian move. Are people saying "Goldbergian"? I keep hearing it, so yes.
Beverly: [on tape] Wait. There must be a simple solution to this war between our two kinds.
Pops: [on tape] There is, citizen. I am a cyborg.
Mr. Glascott: That's clearly RoboCop.
Adam: It's just different enough so there's no legal issues.
Pops: [on tape]This is my love gun. It will make us all equal. [love gun pulsing]
Adam: [on tape] We are all the same?
Pops: [on tape] Intergalactic prejudice is terminated! [majestic music plays] [title: "The End. Of Bigotry."]

Mr. Glascott: How do I put this gently? It's atrocious.
Adam: Okay, all art is subjective.
Mr. Glascott: And, please, don't call it art.
Beverly: Don't listen to this ding-dong. He obviously doesn't get it.
Mr. Glascott: The robots are black people.
Beverly: Oh, he got it.
Mr. Glascott: And making us all the same isn't better either. Our diversity is what makes us great. [uplifting music plays] ["Dedicated to Mr. Glascott" appears on tape] What the hell is this? ["Inspired the whole movie" dings onto screen] Oh, no. Oh, sweet Lord in the sky, no. Make it stop. Make it stop! Please! Make it stop! [grunts] I'm sorry to say that you are very out of touch, Adam.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] With that, Geoff realized he would never be able to convince them to leave a note, so there was only one thing to do... leave one himself.
Erica: You did what?!
Geoff: I left a note.
Barry: Why the hell would you do that?!
Geoff: Because now you will see that it pays to be honest and moral. [knock on door] [door opens]
John Calabasas: Oh, hi. [clears throat] I got your car confession. Thank you so much. Now I know who to sue the pants off of. Whoa! Those look like nice pants. Are those Wranglers?
Geoff: Bugle Boy.
John Calabasas: [chuckles] Bugle Boy.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] It was Goldberg family policy to never leave a note on a dented car, and Geoff was starting to see why.
Geoff: Wait, so you're claiming that you were napping in your car? We didn't even see you.
John Calabasas: Yeah. I was using my camouflage blanket, so I totally disappeared like an arctic hare. Or also my dad.
Erica: Damn it, he's clearly playing us.
John Calabasas: I was merely minding my own business in my car-house when I was viciously attacked. But I'm willing to be reasonable.
Geoff: And that's why I left a note.
John Calabasas: Look, why don't I just drop the lawsuit and I won't call our insurance companies?
Geoff: Oh, my God, yes! Thank you!
John Calabasas: As long as you cover my medical expenses. FYI, this Adam's apple right here got dislocated. Might cost you about ten hundo.
Barry: A dislocated Adam's apple? That's not even a thing.
John Calabasas: I'm sorry. Are you a doctor?
Erica: Not yet.
Barry: Damn it, he's always a step ahead.