Beverly: No way. Erica, you spent the money. That means you got to figure out a way to pay it back.
Erica: But you're supposed to bail me out and I learn some stupid life lesson and we both go on our merry ways.
Beverly: If I bail you out, you'll never learn a lesson. Via la Bevolution!

Geoff: Maybe I can help. I'm pretty good with money.
Erica: You have money? I need money. Can I have your money?
Geoff: Well, it's from my Bar Mitzvah and it's kind of for college.
Erica: It's perfect. I'm in college.
Geoff: Yeah, I guess I can go down to the bank with my mom so she can co-sign the withdrawal and-
Erica: Please. We know that Linda will be a big jerk and say, "No".
Geoff: Right, she's the worst. I'll never forgive her for this!
Erica: Are you just agreeing with me so I don't dump you?
Geoff: No! Yes! I don't know! I'm totally freaking out, man. I just sold out my own mother so fast.

Erica: Sweet! All I have to do is get a credit card, take out a cash advance, and get in on my uncle's shady get-rich scheme.

Barry: All right, JTP minus Geoff.
All: JTP minus Geoff!

Barry: Now that insane riches shall be showered upon us, it is crucial we make smart decisions on how to spend it.
Andy: I'm going to do that "Duck Tales" thing where I dive into a mountain of gold coins.
Naked Rob: I can't decide whether I want a bidet or a butler who will do bidet stuff.
Matt: That's a private decision, bro.

Marvin: Big news, fellas. I pooled all of your cash into this perfect investment. It's an electronics company, and they sell computer thingies.
Barry: Score!
Naked Rob: Wall Street!
Andy: Dow Jones!
Marvin: I'm not done, yet. As of this morning, our stock has gone up 25 points.
Barry: Is that good or terrible? Tell us how to feel.
Marvin: We quadrupled our money. We're rich!

Barry: My dad is so dead!
Naked Rob: Can you not do that? We don't scream now that we're rich.

Adam: This is it, Dad. "E.T." the Video Game has landed.
Murray: Go away.
Adam: I knew you'd say that, which is why I made a yummy trail of Reese's Pieces to distract you while I play.
Murray: Damn it, you're making me bend down. But I can't stop! [laughs]

Barry: And to think I was gonna buy the Eagles and let you kick a field goal every game.

Erica: That is $500. Can you turn that into $3,000 in, like, 5 hours?
Marvin: Sure. If there's anything I know about stocks, it's that they're always going up, right?
Geoff: Um, I don't think you understand the basics of how the economy works.