Kelso: Oh. Hi. Donna. So, that's the carpet. I was just showing Laurie the carpet.
Laurie: I need help with my stuff.
Kelso: I'm gonna give her some help with her stuff.

Eric: I hope you like tuna fish sandwiches, 'cause that's all we got.
Donna: I just saw Kelso and your sister making out in the van.
Eric: Oh, no, that's, uh...
Donna: Did you know about this?
Eric: Did I? Uh, no. No, I didn't know about this. Hey, Hyde. Donna just saw Kelso and Laurie making out.
Hyde: So?
Eric: Aren't you shocked? I'm shocked, for one, to have learned about this.

Hyde: Hey, Jackie, you know what'd be the perfect surprise for Kelso? We'll pull the curtains, and you hide in the back with us. And at some point, you jump up front and yell, "surprise!"
Jackie: Oh, my God, that is perfect!
Hyde: Now, hop in the van before Kelso sees you. Hurry up. [Jackie runs off] Oh, this may be the best road trip ever.

Kelso: So, you want to shift?
Laurie: It's an automatic.
Kelso: I know.
Jackie: [pops up] Surprise!
Kelso: [screams]

Donna: So, how long do you think this whole thing has been going on?
Eric: Whoo. I... you know, I don't know. That's anyone's guess. Right, Fez?
Fez: What?
Eric: Kelso and Laurie. See? Fez doesn't even know. I don't know... I guess... you know, it's just... it's like... God, this is so wrong, you know?
Donna: So what are we gonna do?
Eric: Well, I guess just let this all blow over, and then Jackie and Kelso can get married, have kids, and be really unhappy. So... let's not let this ruin our Vanstock experience, OK?

Fez: Look at this. Bubble gum lip smacker. What a waste.

Hyde: Wow, man. Vanstock. It's exactly how I pictured it.
Woman: Has anyone seen my top? I lost my top.
Hyde: Actually, it's even better than I pictured it.

Hyde: Whoa, man, they're going to the restroom? You know what girls do in the restroom, right?
Kelso: Oh. I like to pretend like they don't do that.
Hyde: Not that, man. They talk.
Kelso: So?
Hyde: To each other.
Kelso: Oh, my God. Girls, wait up! [runs off]
Hyde: What a maroon.

Kitty: So, Red, this is Dr. Browning and, uh, Dr. Cloke.
Dr. Browning: So you're Kitty's husband, eh? She's a little spitfire. We couldn't run the ward without her.
Kitty: Oh... well, you could, but everyone would die. [laughs]

Dr. Browning: Oh, so, Red, what do you do?
Red: About what?
Kitty: Um, Red used to be in management at the auto parts plant.
Dr. Browning: Oh, that's great. What do you do now?
Red: About what?
Kitty: [laughs] Oh, oh, my gosh, Red, look, they have an open bar.