Red Quote #133

Quote from Red in Vanstock

Dr. Browning: Oh, so, Red, what do you do?
Red: About what?
Kitty: Um, Red used to be in management at the auto parts plant.
Dr. Browning: Oh, that's great. What do you do now?
Red: About what?
Kitty: [laughs] Oh, oh, my gosh, Red, look, they have an open bar.

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 ‘Vanstock’ Quotes

Quote from Red

Eric: Hey, Dad, can I go to Vanstock with the guys this weekend?
Red: What the hell's a Vanstock?
Eric: Well, it's like Woodstock, but with a greater emphasis on vans.
Red: Sounds stupid. Have a good time.

Quote from Eric

[fantasy: a Soap-style theme plays:]
Narrator: [v.o.] Will Red get a job? Will Jackie ever find out about Kelso and Laurie? Will we ever find out where Fez is from? Will Hyde ever find his topless Cinderella? And what ever happened to Midge's daughter Tina? Will Eric and Donna ever consummate their illicit teenage love? And what about Chuck and Bob? Oh, wait, they aren't on this show.
Chuck Campbell: [as Bob] See, I told you we weren't on this show. [as himself] Oh, shut up, Bob.
Narrator: Confused? You won't be after the next episode of... That '70s Show.

Quote from Red

Kitty: Red, what are you gonna do today?
Red: Read the want ads, look for a job. Then, just to break up the day, I thought I'd go down to Rexall, look for some Gold Bond for my athlete's foot. Any more questions?
Kitty: Well, oh, boy, Red, we've got the big hospital banquet to look forward to.
Red: Oh, right. Well then, screw the Gold Bond, I gotta get my hair done.

 Red Forman Quotes

Quote from Till the Next Goodbye

Red: I can't believe that is what you idiots have been doing in my basement all these years!
[The background behind Red and Kitty sways as Eric stares at them]
Red: I wish I had 2,000 feet so I could put 500 of them in each of your asses!

Quote from No Quarter

Red: You know, it occurs to me that since I paid the allowance that bought those records in the first place, that money's mine.
Eric: Well, it occurs to me that possession is 9/10ths of the law.
Red: Keep up with the smart mouth, and my foot will be 9/10ths of the way up your ass.
Hyde: You know, Forman, you should write a book: Things My Father Threatened To Put In My Ass. "Chapter One: His Foot." I'd buy that.

Quote from That '70s Finale

Kelso: Oh, Mr. Forman, can I light this off in your house?
Red: Sure and then I'll light my foot off in your ass.
Hyde: And that, my friends, is the last "foot-in-ass" of the decade. Cheers.
Kitty: Michael, it is so good to see you. The girls in the emergency room were just asking about you.
Kelso: You know, it's like I've been gone for so long, I almost forgot you're a hot mom.
Kitty: Oh! [giggles]
Red: You know what else is hot? My foot when it's in your ass.
Hyde: Look at that. He had one more in him.