Jackie: Is Steven here?
Kelso: No, he went to work. Oh, but before he left, he was chucking everything you ever gave him all around the basement. It was like a hailstorm of stuffed animals and ABBA records. Wait, what are you doing here anyway? I thought you left for Chicago.
Jackie: Well, I would have, but my mom took the car to Tijuana and won't be back till Cinco de Mayo, whenever that is.

Donna: I got the best going-away present for Eric. Okay, a pen and pencil set. That way, he can write me every day.
Kitty: Well, isn't that just... [snores] Donna, a going-away gift should be something special, meaningful, personal.
Donna: Okay, like what? Clock radio? Underwear? Some spoons? Help me.
Kitty: No, honey, like... Okay, before Red went to Korea, I had my sister take a sexy boudoir photograph of me. I was wearing nothing but a fur coat.
Donna: Mrs. Forman, you bad, bad girl.
Kitty: It was racy. [chuckles] You could see my knees.

Kelso: Hey, Eric. We need something to drink. Our throats are all dry from laughing over Jackie and the stinky blanket.
Eric: Jackie and the stinky blanket. It sounds like a delightful Hardy Boys mystery.
Fez: I'll tell you what the mystery is, why aren't those boys nailing Nancy Drew?
Kelso: 'Cause she's got glasses.
Fez: Ah, mystery solved.

Eric: So, I gotta go over to Donna's, get my going-away present. Man, she is, like, the world's worst gift giver. Remember that ugly sweater vest and that huge man ring? Now I gotta go get excited about some other lame thing. "Oh, wow, Donna, clown shoes. Thank you so much."
Fez: I wish I had a beautiful girl giving me clown shoes. Hell, I'd settle for a beautiful clown giving me girl shoes.
Kelso: I dated a clown once. But soon as I learned how to make those balloon animals, I dumped her.

Hyde: I thought you left town.
Jackie: Why? Because you're so amazing and incredible that I simply couldn't exist in the same town as you knowing you couldn't make a commitment?
Hyde: No, because you wrote me a note saying that you left town.
Jackie: Oh! Well, that, Steven, was a metaphor, a metaphor for the fact that my heart and mind are gone, but my body is still here, in this very awkward situation.
Kelso: Want me to cover you up with the stinky blanket?
Hyde: Would you guys get lost?
Fez: Oh, you want your privacy. I understand. We're just gonna go upstairs and listen through the vent.

Hyde: So, what are you doing here, Jackie? You got something you wanna say to me?
Jackie: Yes. I wanted to say that I'm leaving for real this time.
Hyde: So you came back to tell me that you're leaving again?
Jackie: Yes, but this is goodbye.
Hyde: All right, I'll see you tomorrow then.
Jackie: Steven, I'm serious.
Hyde: So want to hang out next week?
Jackie: I'm going. Unless... Unless, Steven, there's something you'd like to say, in which case, I'm listening.
Hyde: Yeah. Have a good trip.
Jackie: I will.
Kelso: [o.s.] Can you guys stand closer to the vent and talk louder?

Charlie: Man, and now Mr. Forman is even madder at me since I saw Mrs. Forman naked. I mean, doesn't he know I went to Catholic school? I don't even know what any of that stuff is.
Fez: Now what exactly did you see? And I'm only asking because I find Ms. Kitty attractive in a sexual way.

Kelso: I know how you can get back on Red's good side. Walk in on him naked.
Charlie: No way, man. I do know what that stuff is, and I don't want to see it.
Kelso: No, seriously. Look, it's perfect. Look, Red assumes that everyone is either a pervert or an idiot.
Fez & Kelso: He thinks I'm both.
Kelso: See, and if you walk in on Red naked, he's gonna assume that you're the biggest idiot in the world.
Charlie: That- That kind of makes sense. You know, you probably hear this all the time, but you're really smart.
Kelso: I do hear that all the time.

Kelso: All right, here we are. Good luck in Chicago.
Jackie: Michael, this is the bus station.
Kelso: Yeah. I said I'd give you a ride, and then under my breath I whispered, "To the bus station."
Jackie: No, no, no. No. I can't ride the bus. Other people's butts have been on those seats.
Kelso: Well, I'm not driving you all the way there. That's, like, two hours away.
Jackie: Michael, you put this car in gear and take me to Chicago right now.
Kelso: You know what? You haven't changed at all. You're just still- Just a spoiled little princess who gets by on her good looks, and bitchy demands, and mean and painful pinches.
Jackie: Yeah, well, you still don't have any manners. A real man wouldn't let the princess ride the bus.
Kelso: Well, you know what? You're not even a princess. You're just a little bossy boss.
Jackie: That's right, Michael. I'm the boss, and you're taking the boss to Chicago right now. [pinches Kelso]
Kelso: Ah! Fine! You're always telling me what to do. I've missed this.

Fez: Look at the blanket I got for our new apartment. I found it in the dumpster. It's got lots of stains, so it goes with everything.
Kelso: That is so awesome. I'm not even gonna ask what you were doing in the dumpster.