Jackie: So, until then, I need you guys to help me avoid the horrors of seeing Steven so I can figure out a way to get out of here.
Fez: Well, that's too bad, 'cause I think I hear him coming down the stairs now.
Jackie: Oh, my God. Um... What do I do?
Fez: Okay. Quick, get down under the blanket. He's not coming down. I made the whole thing up and now you're under a stinky blanket.
Kelso: The stinky blanket burn! That is awesome!
Jackie: Oh, that is disgusting. Oh, this blanket smells like dog.
Fez: That is because when I found it, it was wrapped around a dead dog.
Kelso: Uh-oh, Jackie. He's coming for real this time. Get down!
Jackie: [hides under blanket] Oh, my God!
Kelso: I got her! I got her!
Jackie: I am gonna kick you both in the nads.
Fez: Well, you're gonna have to do it later because here he comes now.
Jackie: Oh, well, now I don't believe you.
Fez: [opens door] Okay, then. Hey, come on in. Good to see you, Hyde. What's going on, buddy?
Kelso: She did it again! [laughs]
Jackie: I hate you.
Kelso: Oh, man, we could do this all day.
Fez: Yeah, I got nowhere to be, man.

Charlie: Mr. Forman, I was looking for you to apologize about the dress thing, okay? But then I opened the door and wow. No, no, I don't mean, "Wow." I mean, "Oh, no!" No, no, I don't mean, "Oh, no."
Red: Well, what were you doing just standing there?
Charlie: I was like a deer caught in the headlights. Oh, I said, "headlights."
Kitty: Red, it was a very awkward situation. No one knew what to do.
Red: Well, I know what I would do if I saw you naked. I'd turn and run the other way. I mean, there is no reason on Earth for a 19-year-old boy to be staring at a woman your age. Look, damn it, he's the one in trouble here, not me.
Bob: [enters] Hey, Kitty, could I have some peanut oil? I'm gonna fry up some jumbo shrimp, which is a funny name. It's like calling someone a giant midget. I'd like to see one of those.
Red: Get this, Bob. Charlie here walked into our bedroom and saw Kitty naked.
Bob: [giggles] How was that?
Red: Well, how do you think it was? It was horrifying.
Kitty: Excuse me?
Charlie: Oh. So, Mr. Forman, how wrong was it for us to get into Vietnam, huh? [chuckles]

Kelso: Uh-oh. Jackie, Hyde's coming for real this time.
Fez: Quick, drink this old root beer.
Jackie: You know what? I am so tired of you two lying about Steven just so you can humiliate me.
Fez: Okay, you're right. Let me make it up to you by offering you this different, not old root beer.

Kelso: Jackie, Hyde is coming right now.
Jackie: You know what, Michael? I am sorry, but I am not playing your little game anymore.
Hyde: [enters] Jackie. Why aren't you in Chicago? Why do you smell like a dead dog?

Kelso: Hey, Jackie, how'd it go with Hyde? Did he ask you to stay?
Jackie: No. But even if he did, I can't stay, because I've got a career waiting for me in Chicago. But I am stuck here in this stupid place with no way out.
Fez: Jackie, you know what would help? If you eat this dirty Milk Dud.
Kelso: Shut up, Fez. Jackie, I'm here for you, okay? So I'll even give you a ride.
Jackie: Really?
Kelso: Michael, that would be great.
Fez: And I won't do anything, because frankly, I don't have much to offer.

Red: I smell like smoke from Bob's damn fire. If Kitty's looking for me, I went upstairs to take a shower. [exits]
Fez: Now's your chance to catch Red naked.
Charlie: He's gonna think I'm such an idiot.
Fez: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Give him enough time to take everything off. You don't want to walk in on him wearing nothing but socks. That would just make this whole thing weird.

Donna: Please, Mr. Stormtrooper, I'll do anything you want if you only spare the planet Alderaan. Eric, you have a line. We rehearsed this. Wait a minute. [removes helmet] Fez!
Fez: But I just want to touch the buns. Let me touch the buns.