Fez: I win again! I know you're just a fish, but come on, at least try!
Bob: [o.s.] Fez, is that you?
Fez: Goldie, you can use pronouns?
Bob: [enters] No, Fez, it's me, Bob.
Fez: Bob, you found us! Hallelujah!
Bob: Yep, just followed the trail of candy corn you left.
Fez: What? I didn't leave a... Oh, damn it! There was a hole. All that candy corn wasted.
Bob: No, I ate them.
Fez: Bob, they were on the ground. Well, I would have done the same.

Bob: Yeah, it's too bad the kids never found your ring. But on the up side... Pork Doodles!
Kitty: Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh, it's my ring. It was in the car the whole time.
Bob: That's great. It's like I always say, sometimes you find things.
Red: [o.s.] Kitty.
Kitty: Red.
Red: [walks out] I just ordered you a new ring. The diamond is almost a karat, the band is white gold, the jeweler said it was the nicest one he had.
Kitty: Oh. Well, that sounds beautiful.
Red: I know it won't have all the sentimental value of the old one, but...
Kitty: ...but that ring is gone forever. [puts old ring in pocket]

Jackie: Ugh, the only thing worse than listening to those Beach Whales was watching Steven throw up after spending all day in the beer garden.
Hyde: I had a good reason to throw up. I was drunk.
Jackie: Oh, I wish I could say I've been drunk the whole time I went out with you.
Hyde: Oh, yeah, it's a good thing you're not a drinker. You'd have a hard time operating that heavy machinery... your mouth! [Red chuckles]

Donna: Well, Mrs. Forman, you won a prize, too. I can't believe you let that guy guess your weight.
Kitty: And I can't believe that the woman who almost married my son has already moved on to the next customer because she's as loose as an old gym sock.
Hyde: Horrus Maximus!
Kitty: And that weight-guesser never had a chance once I took off my shoes, my belt, my engagement ring, spit out my gum and took all the Kleenex out of my pockets. Oh, Fez, honey, you never gave me back my ring.
Fez: Oh, yeah. Wow, so sparkly. [car hits a pothole] And lost forever.

Kitty: It's gone! My engagement ring is gone! You! You lost it! We let you into our country, we give you minimum-wage jobs, we teach you how to use a knife and a fork and this is how you thank us?
Red: Kitty, I hate to see you so upset when there is such an easy solution. Let's just get you home, I'll make you a martini, then when you calm down, I'll make you a margarita.
Jackie: Wait, um, what about us?
Red: Oh, you're going to stay here and look for the ring. And if it rains, just do like the Indians did. Die.

Donna: No, I was thinking I would go with Randy and you would go with Hyde.
Jackie: No, no, no, I'm not teaming up with Steven. That would be like Cher teaming up with a really smelly drunk.
Hyde: Whoa! Did you guys hear that? The wild call of the brown-haired pygmy bitch.
Jackie: I didn't hear anything.
Hyde: There it is again!

Hyde: Hey, this is what it's all about. The outdoors, just us guys talking man-to-man. You know, Jackie is so annoying. I didn't realize when we were going out. Sometimes you got to marry a stripper to get things into perspective. Anyway, this is good. The outdoors, just us guys, talking man-to-man. It's what it's all about.
Randy: Yeah, hey, can I team up with Donna?
Hyde: What? No, it's all about the guys! Ah, man, I can't get between you and Donna, 'cause love, that's what it's all about. And jugs. Especially jugs. Then love. But mostly jugs. You know what I mean, man? [Randy is gone] Silence. That's what it's all about.

Bob: Hey, there. I was just putting out the trash and heard you two having a little spat, so I figured you'd probably want me to come and take a side.
Kitty: Okay, well, my engagement ring is lost and Red doesn't even give a damn. And I don't understand it because even if he doesn't care about the sentimental value, it still cost $1,000.
Bob: 1,000 bucks? So you finally replaced the old cheap one, huh?
Kitty: What?
Red: Bob...
Bob: Oh, jeez. You blew it now, Red. [chuckles]

Kitty: The old cheap one? What is he talking about, Red?
Red: Kitty, I love you.
Kitty: How much did my ring really cost?
Red: Right around $1,000.
Kitty: How much exactly?
Red: $65.
Kitty: $65? My hairdo costs more than that!
Red: It does? Where the hell are you getting... Which is beside the point, because you look lovely!
Kitty: And you know what else looks lovely? The view from the couch. Which is where your cheap, lying butt will be sleeping tonight.
Bob: She's right about that couch. Got a great view of the TV from there.

Jackie: Steven is such a jerk. You know, I can't believe I almost married a guy who can belch the alphabet all the way to "W." You know, he never finishes anything.
Donna: Well, Randy is perfect. That lady at the fair who did the caricatures? She refused to draw him 'cause she couldn't find a flaw.
Jackie: Oh, please. That lady had no talent. Did you see how big she drew my mouth?