Bob: Donna, you got a little something on your face, I got it. [moves Eric away]

Red: What the hell?
Eric: Yeah. "What the hell" is right. Who would do such an irresponsible and ironic thing?
Donna: Certainly not anyone I would want to make out with. [whispers] I mean the opposite of that.

Red: Would you look at this? Bubblegum ice cream?
Eric: Okay, good start. Now let's fan out and search for more clues. [runs away]

Jackie: Steven, see, fathers love their children, just like your new daddy loves you. So call him.
Hyde: No.
Jackie: Steven, you never do anything I say. If you were a dog or someone who worked for me, I'd smack you on the nose with a newspaper.

Kitty: Well, of course Steven should call his dad.
Jackie: I know, but he won't do it, and I've tried everything. Nagging him, poking him, smacking him. You know, my bag of tricks is empty.
Kitty: Well, he needs a father. The day is fast approaching when someone's gonna have to talk to him about the birds and the bees.
Jackie: Well, actually, Mrs. Forman... Yes, it's fast, fast approaching.

Jackie: Oh, here he comes. Okay, please do something.
Kitty: Okay, I'm good at this. [picks up the phone] Oh, this is Steven's father, you say? You really wanna talk to him but he has to call you first, you say?
Hyde: [whispers] Mrs. Forman? I know you're not really on the phone with my dad.
Kitty: Oh, you do? Oh, you do? Well, you're right. [hangs up phone]
Jackie: I thought you said you were good at this.
Kitty: He is a lot savvier than Eric.

Kelso: Hello, sir, I'm here to pick up Kimberly, and I figure if I'm upfront with you about my intentions, we can all feel good about our date. Now, I'm about to do things of a sexual nature with your daughter, and even though she does those things with everyone, I have a new respect for the father-daughter relationship, now that I have a daughter, out of wedlock. I'm no longer with the mother, don't worry. So I figure, with your permission, I can proceed to pleasure her time and time again. What do you say? [the father punches Kelso] Ow!

Eric: God, I can't believe Red bought the muffler shop. All right, that's it, new Eric's out, old Eric's back. I should probably just go upstairs and think about what I've done.
Donna: Come on. You can't turn back now. You're like an explorer discovering a new you. When Columbus discovered America instead of the West Indies, did he go to his room? No, he waded into Mexico and stole all of their gold.
Eric: Okay, I'm not following.
Donna: I think it's hot when you do naughty stuff and I want you to keep doing it.
Eric: You know what? It is hot. I'm not gonna let Red bully me out of it. I mean, how often was I hot before?
Donna: Almost never, right?
Eric: But now I am hot and hot I will stay. Let's celebrate.
Donna: One of Red's beers?
Eric: There's a new sheriff in town, little lady.

Eric: Look, I said I was sorry and I'd fix up the shop. Come on, Dad, aren't we getting a little old for this whole dance? I mean, here we are shaking our booties and I mean... Disco's dead.
Red: You're not taking dance classes again, are you?
Eric: No. I'm saying here's what's gonna happen, you're gonna accept my apology, man to man, and then sit down with me and my girl here and enjoy this beer.
Red: No, here's what's gonna happen. You are gonna put down that beer and go to your room.
Eric: Or here's what's gonna happen. I am gonna go to my room. But first, I'm gonna chug this beer.
Donna: Chug it, Eric.
Eric: Okay, that's really fizzy. But I think I made my point. Now you put some Saran Wrap on that, and I will finish it later.

Kelso: Check it out.
Jackie: Oh. Wait, Michael, these are all pictures of you.
Kelso: Yeah, I was the only thing not covered in slime.
Fez: Oh, here's one of Brooke's boobs. Where did that one of Brooke's boobs go?
Kelso: Ah, here we go. Here's a picture of the kid.
Hyde: Nice, Kelso, she's got Brooke's eyes and your fondness for mooning the camera.