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Season 2, Episode 5 - Aired October 26, 1999

Eric and friends break into their old grammar school on Halloween. Meanwhile, Red and Kitty reminisce about the early days of their marriage.

Quote from Donna

Jackie: God, I can't believe Michael pushed me out of the way like that.
Donna: Me neither. I figured he'd use you as a human shield.
Jackie: Donna, the most noble thing a man can do is lay down his life for a woman he loves. Ideally, while she's still young and can remarry. Do you know who protected me there? Fez.
Donna: Well, he had to. He's Batman.


Quote from Donna

Donna: Hey, guys, we found something scary.
Jackie: Yeah, it was in the principal's office.
Eric: Oh, my God. Those look like... like...
Donna: They are. Our permanent records.

Quote from Eric

Kelso: Wow! Our permanent records. Uh, you know what? They probably left these here after the school burned down.
Hyde: Hey. Pinciotti, Donna. Well... looks like someone we know had a real hard time keeping their clothes on in kindergarten.
Donna: What? It was just a stupid phase.
Eric: I'm sure glad that's over.

Quote from Eric

Hyde: "Steven willfully and maliciously destroyed Christine del Bueno's shoe box diorama of the four food groups."
Donna: You're a monster. A horrible, horrible monster.
Hyde: Yeah, real funny, but I didn't do it.
Eric: You know what's really funny, Hyde?
Hyde: What, Forman?
Eric: Heh, heh. I broke the diorama.
Hyde: You? [thunder cracks]
Eric: Hers was better than mine. I had to smash it. I left out dairy.

Quote from Red

[black-and-white flashback:]
Kitty: Oh, that was not funny, Red. Those were just little kids.
Red: Well, that's what makes it funny.
Kitty: Well, think about it, honey. Would it be funny if it were your own kids?
Red: But I don't have kids.
Kitty: Well, you might.
Red: What are you saying?
Kitty: I'm saying... I'm pregnant.
Red: Oh, no! No, I mean, uh... Oh, crap.
Kitty: Yeah.

Quote from Jackie

Jackie: All right, everybody, just leave him alone! Okay? Because he may be a liar, but at least he's not a backstabber like Eric.
Donna: Stay out of this, Beulah.
Jackie: Oh, don't call me that.
Donna: Oh, sorry... Beulah.
Jackie: Fine. You know what? Donna kissed Hyde last year.
Eric: What?!
Jackie: Don't mess with me.

Quote from Donna

Donna: That... That's a lie. Hyde kissed me.
Eric: Well, that is just so much better. How... How could you do this, man?
Hyde: I guess I'm just a born troublemaker. Or maybe you turned me into one.
Donna: You are so dead, Beulah.
Kelso: Hey! Leave her alone, all right?
Donna: Okay. Yeah. Jackie told me Fez was a better kisser than you, Kelso.
Kelso: [gasps]

Quote from Fez

Fez: Stop it! Can't you see what is happening? Those permanent records are tearing us apart.
Eric: Batman's right.
Hyde: Look what we've become.
Donna: We're like animals.
Kelso: Those files are evil, man.
Jackie: We've got to destroy them.
Eric: But how, Jackie? How?
Fez: Oh, my God. Now my Sugar Babies really are gone.
[Hyde removes a box of candy from his pocket and gives it back to Fez]

Quote from Red

[black-and-white flashback:]
Red: Kitty. I'm really sorry about what I said.
Kitty: You mean, "Oh, no," and "crap"?
Red: Right, that's it. I'm sorry. I... It's just... It was a big shock, you know?
Kitty: It was a really big shock for me, too, and I said, "Oh, good" and "Yay."
Red: No, I... I feel like that, too. It's just that I... Well, I... I needed a minute for it to sink in. But once it sunk in, I realized I was really happy.
Kitty: You really mean that?
Red: Of course I do. It's gonna be great. I can't wait to be a father.

Quote from Hyde

Jackie: Michael, I'm cold. And this is stupid. We should just burn the files.
Kelso: Jackie, they've already been in a fire. They can't be destroyed that way.
Hyde: See you in hell, permanent records.
Eric: Now we have to swear we'll never speak of this ever again.
Donna: Except the part about Kelso buying us beer.
Eric: Yeah, naturally. But otherwise it's like this night never happened, okay?
Hyde: Beulah.
Jackie: No! No! No!

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