Mateo: I bet this place sees a lot of ill-fitting denim.
Cheyenne: Yeah, just imagine how many bad butts have been in here.
Eric: Call me an optimist, but I think there are no bad butts. There's just bad pants.
Cheyenne: Aw, that's beautiful.
Eric: Okay, I'm going to hit the little cowboys' room. Not my words. It says that on the door.

Jonah: Strike two.
Amy: What is that bartender's problem? This is a wedding, not a rules convention. Get me a drink!
Jonah: I feel like flirting with him could've worked, calling him a fascist could've worked, but I think doing both just kind of confused him.

Amy: Sandra, stop, please. I-I will make sure everything gets done. You go. Get ready.
Sandra: Oh, really? Thank you so much. Maybe I can still get into the family photos.
Amy: Yes. Go, go, go.
Sandra: I can't wait to have some champagne.
Amy: [groans] Me, too.

Amy: All right, guys, listen up. There is still a lot that needs to get done, and it is crunch time. I'm going to finish the centerpieces. Jonah, you set up the chairs. Cheyenne, can you make sure that the sound system's working?
Cheyenne: Oh, God, yeah, I totally forgot. Sorry.
Jonah: Had you already asked her to do that?
Amy: No.

Marcus: [answers phone] Dina, hey. Are they inviting me after all? 'Cause I did throw my nice socks in the car, just in case.
Dina: No, you're still not wanted here. Look, I'm worried that Carol is plotting something. Has she been acting weird?
Marcus: I guess, like, her regular level.
Dina: Okay, yeah, what's her energy like? Is she laughing to herself? Rubbing her hands together maniacally?
Marcus: Okay. She's eating a sandwich, not in an evil way, but... it's not so positive, either. Should I send a pic?
Dina: Absolutely, you should.

Amy: Okay, the seating cards are placed. Sandra's cat has the ring. Jonah, do you want to go make sure that the caterers have everything that they need?
Jonah: On it. Also, are we hanging these fishing nets? They're so wet. Were they just used?

Jonah: Oh, wow. You... Uh, you really went all out, huh?
Sayid: The invitation said Cowboy Charlie's Old West Steakhouse. I assumed what any sane person would.
Nina: I told you.
Sayid: Oh, you love this, don't you? This is the greatest gift I could give you. And now you give me the cold shoulder. Perfect!
Amy: [to Jonah] Make sure we're at their table.

Bartender: Hey, man, sorry about earlier. It's my eighth straight day of work. I'm usually better with pushy guests. Although, they're usually much older. And whiter, too.
Jonah: Well, she breaks barriers.

Jonah: Hey, you know, I actually work with an organization that can help you. Here, take my card. There's a link to the web...
Bartender: Man, I don't want to join another cult.
Jonah: Oh, no, no, no. I'm with Raise the Wage. You deserve better than this. Look us up.
Bartender: Thanks.
Jonah: Yeah. So do I give off, like, a cult leader vibe?
Bartender: I didn't say leader.
Jonah: Ah.

Eric: You took over a wedding. This is the Amy-est thing I've ever seen.
Amy: I don't want to be doing this. I'm just trying to make this the best day of their dumb lives.
Eric: Tell me how to help.
Amy: Now you want to help, when we're almost done? Next time, figure out how to help on your own. I'm not going to help you help.
Eric: You see? She's like a 12-year-old when I'm around.
Amy: Oh, shut up, Eric. I'm like this all the time, idiot.
Mateo: [gasps] Oh, she's so mad. This is my favorite. [off Amy's look] I mean, Eric, stop. Come on, she's my boss.