Justine: Guys, they haven't put out the shrimp yet, in case anyone is wondering. I saw cocktail sauce, though, so we are close.
Garrett: Oh, whew.
Justine: The wedding starts soon. Shouldn't all this stuff be ready by now?
Dina: Carol snapped and left us hanging, Sandra's sister is useless, and Jerry's family members are definitely related to Jerry.
Justine: You know, it's funny. I always thought if Carol snapped, she'd do something crazier than putting laxatives in cupcakes.
Dina: What do you mean?
Justine: I just thought she'd go bigger. Plus, I'm surprised she did it at the bachelorette party, instead of the day Sandra marries her ex.
Dina: In front of all her friends and family.
Justine: Mm-hmm.
Dina: Hmm. [exhales] [walks off]
Justine: You don't think Carol's behind the shrimp delay, do you?
Garrett: Yes, definitely.

Dina: Okay, centerpieces, chairs...
Amy: Hey, Dina. Everything okay?
Dina: Carol's going to do something. I can feel it.
Amy: What? No. Carol's working at the store tonight. She's not even here.
Dina: What if she threw us off the scent by making us think her plan was over at the bachelorette so we'd let down our guard at the wedding? The wedding that she helped design? Huh? [chuckles] If Sandra makes it through today without being decapitated, it will be a miracle.
Amy: Dina, it does seem like there's a lot that still needs to get done. Isn't that kind of your job?
Dina: My job is keeping the bride safe. I need to find a sewer map.

Cheyenne: I think everyone would understand if you just went home.
Sayid: Trust me, when Sandra and Jerry come out in their western garb, you're all going to look like fools.

Glenn: Jerry and Sandra have requested a non-religious ceremony, so I'd just like say that the following is from a book I highly recommend, written by the greatest and most powerful author in history of the world, so... "Love is patient, love is kind." "Love does not envy."

Dina: Go, Glenn, go.
Glenn: Yeah, well...
Dina: Get back in.
Glenn: [stammers] Ah, okay, um... Jesus Christ... [stammers] is not welcome here. So, um... [guests whispering] So, something fun about Jerry and Sandra is that they have this little tradition. When one of them gets crabby, they have to wear a T-shirt with a crab on it. But the only time that Jerry ever put it on was when Sandra left town.
All: Aww.
Glenn: I know, it's cute, isn't it? It's a little insight into who they are as people. [laughs]
Garrett: [whispers] What the [bleep], man?

Garrett: All right, so next up, we have the maid of honor. Um, Dina? Anyone? 5'9", brown hair, shouted, "Bomb!" during the ceremony?
Amy: Damn it, Dina. You had one job.
Garrett: Uh, okay. Uh, so what else can I tell you guys about Jerry? Um, apparently anything I want.

Amy: Carol, you can't do that!
Dina: Yeah, that carrier's way too sturdy. The cat will never explode.
Amy: No, Dina. I mean, like, she shouldn't kill the cat.
Dina: Yeah, and she won't, if she throws it in that carrier.
Carol: It could totally die in here, Dina.
Dina: It's a 15-foot drop. These things are built sturdy for travel. It will absorb all of the impact.
Amy: Dina, this really isn't the point.
Carol: This is a very good plan.
Dina: It is a terrible plan. The bottom's completely rubberized. Look at it.
Carol: No, it's not completely...
[As Carol lifts up the carrier to look at the underside, Dina kicks her and grabs it]
Amy: We got the cat back!
Dina: We? You just stood there with your wang in the wind!

Amy: Okay, a toast! To our girl Sandra... Whoo-whoo... [laughter] For being awesome, for finding true love, and most importantly, for giving me my first chance to par-tay in, like, decades.

Carol: I wanted Sandra to get sick so tomorrow would be ruined, okay?
Amy: What the hell, Carol?
Sandra: I knew you hadn't changed.
Carol: I'm sorry. I tried. But I just couldn't let the anger go. I'm a mess. I shouldn't be any part of this.
Driver: Mmm, that cupcake was delicious. Mmm.
Justine: Ooh, someone should tell him.
Cheyenne: Yeah.
Amy: No, no, no, no, no! Maybe he'll be fine.
Cheyenne: Oh, he's not fine.

Amy: Oh... bar! Come on.
Jonah: Wow, going right at it, huh?
Amy: Yeah, well, I didn't get to cut loose at the bachelorette party, so I'm cutting twice as loose tonight. My phone is on do not disturb, and my liver is on high alert.
Jonah: That's where you think your liver is?
Amy: I don't know. Where's my liver?
Jonah: It... It's not there.