‘Sandra's Wedding’
Season 5, Episode 14 - Aired January 30, 2020
Amy has to take charge of Sandra's wedding as Dina is preoccupied with a threat to the big day.
Quote from Jonah
Amy: Jonah, what are you doing?
Jonah: Just, uh, grabbing myself some grub. How about I grab you some and meet you back over there at the table?
Amy: Um, doesn't catering have people who can do this?
Jonah: Uh, yeah, they did. Until a bunch of them walked off. They got really upset about the pay. You know, these things bubble up, no rhyme or reason...
Amy: You too, man?
Jonah: I-I forgot how inspiring I can be.
Quote from Mateo
Cheyenne: Hey.
Eric: How's it going?
Mateo: The charging light is acting up. I called ICE to complain, but, you know, they're not really known for their customer service. So embarrassing.
Cheyenne: Whatever, it was exciting. And now you're, like, the story of the wedding.
Eric: Yeah, it's fine. Just juice that bad boy up, and we'll get back out there.
Mateo: It takes two hours.
Cheyenne: What?
Mateo: You two should go. I'm good. I saw that Lasagna Bear is trending on twitter, so I definitely have to see what that's all about.
Eric: I'm going to hang out. I like it in here.
Cheyenne: Cool, okay, you two hang. Because to me, this room sucks. I mean, compared to out there, where the party is? This is not close.
Quote from Marcus
Dina: [on the phone] Marcus, I realize you feel left out, but you have to let the invited move on with our lives.
Marcus: No, I'm calling to see if we have a spare key to the printer ink case. Elias can't find one, and Carol's not answering her walkie.
Dina: Wait, really?
Marcus: Yeah. No one knows where she is, and it's a bad time, man. We've got that Saturday night ink rush.
Dina: [hangs up] It's go time.
Marcus: [to customer] So I don't have access to the printer case, but I can offer you condoms or razors. Take your pick.
Quote from Mateo
Eric: You sure I can't get you a drink?
Mateo: No.
Eric: Cranberry juice?
Mateo: What do I have, a UTI? Sorry. Just go enjoy the wedding.
Eric: That sounds like something someone says but they don't actually want you to do it.
Mateo: It's not like that, okay? There's no reason for both of us to be stuck back here.
Eric: You sure?
Mateo: Please, just go have fun!
Eric: All right, I'll be back in a few. [exits]
Mateo: [scoffs] Rude.
Quote from Mateo
Cheyenne: Tough night, huh?
Mateo: [laughs] What are you talking about? I love being stuck back here, tied to this wall. My little friend. Plus, my phone died, and Eric hasn't been by in an hour, so...
Cheyenne: Yeah.
Mateo: He left, didn't he?
Cheyenne: [nods] I'm sorry.
Mateo: I don't blame him. It's my fault. I don't know what I was thinking, trying to get into a normal relationship. It was going so well, you know, that I forgot about all this. It's just too much to ask him to deal with, you know?
Cheyenne: Well, I can stay here with you, and we can watch Lasagna Bear on my phone.
Mateo: I watched it. It's just a bear eating a lasagna. I don't know what I was expecting.
Cheyenne: Yeah, the internet has gotten so bad.
Mateo: Yeah, I think it's over.
Eric: Sorry to interrupt, but I was wondering if you wanted to dance.
Quote from Dina
Sandra: Dina, where have you been? I've been looking for you. You missed your speech.
Amy: Hey, Sandra. Listen, I know Dina's been all over the place. But just trust me, it was for a good reason.
Sandra: Was it her? [Dina nods] Was it bad?
Dina: Almost.
Sandra: Is it over?
Dina: It's over. [Sandra hugs Dina] Oh.
Amy: Aww.
Dina: Amy, this is kind of a private moment.
Quote from Sandra
Sandra: I like being married to you.
Jerry: Yes. I'm having a really good time.