Amy: Okay! Listen up. I know there are a lot of rumors flying around about the health fund, but we are not kicking people out. So we have Group A, and also for those with slightly more health requirements we have Group B.
Jonah: Each group is exactly the same, and also different.
Amy: Those in Group A will continue to pay $20 a month, and those in Group B, based on projected expenses, will pay... $200 a month.

Isaac: This sucks. You have me in Group B with Sandra, and she has gout.
Amy: Jesus Christ, Sandra, how many things do you have wrong with you?

Jonah: You need antibiotics, not useless home remedies.
Garrett: Says the guy who drinks apple cider vinegar every morning.
Jonah: No, no. That's good. That has, um... It's... I'm gonna look up the article.

Amy: It's a bug repellent. It heals cuts. My grandma's using it to shrink her moles.
Dina: Well, your grandma's a moron.
Amy: Well, the moles are shrinking, Dina, so who's the moron?
Dina: You don't mess with moles. You see a doctor. I recently had one removed.
Glenn: Sounds like someone's had some work done. That's very Beverly Hills of you.
Dina: Uh, no, Glenn, it was a melanoma, and we caught it early so guess who has two thumbs and is cancer free. Everybody but Dale.

Tate: Are you out of your mind? I can't give you meds without a prescription. I could lose my license, go to jail.
Mateo: Okay, sorry. Calm down.
Tate: [clears throat]
[Tate looks up at the CCTV camera and signals for Mateo to talk to him around the corner]
Tate: Uh, yeah, buddy. I can hook you up. So, you looking to get wasted or just a nice clean high?
Mateo: Um, just... antibiotics.
Tate: A.B.'s, old school, I feel you. The thing about pills is they're so tiny, they're hard to keep track of. Sometimes I miscount. [both chuckle]
Mateo: So bad.
Tate: Okeydoke, let's see what I can throw your way. Lipitor, Lipitor, Lipitor. You know, what the hell? Does that look like Oxy or a SweeTart to you?
Mateo: I don't know.
Tate: [takes pill] I don't know. That's a headscratcher. Mm. Oh, here we go. Expired amoxicillin.
Mateo: Okay.
Tate: Perfect. Gotcha.
Mateo: Thank you. How much do I owe you?
Tate: What? Are you crazy? You don't just hand me the money. Behind the Just for Men. Medium Dark Brown.
Mateo: Okay.
Tate: Oh. That was Oxy.

Glenn: Hey, howdy-do. Any room at the inn for a fella with a PB and J minus the PB?
Sandra: Sure. We were just talking about how my boyfriend Jerry's doing.
Glenn: Oh.
Sandra: He has a vegetal growth on his teeth due to the coma, and uh...
Glenn: Hey, remember how before we were talking about melanomas.

Glenn: Hey, remember how before we were talking about melanomas. How do you know if a mole is one of those?
Dina: Well, there's lots of warning signs. Is it getting bigger?
Glenn: Sometimes it gets bigger. Sometimes it gets smaller... depending on factors.
Dina: Sounds suspicious. You want me to take a look?
Glenn: Definitely not. Besides, I got a doctor's appointment in six months so...
Dina: Oh, I wouldn't wait. If it's cancer and they catch it early, it's just a simple surgery. But the longer you wait, they got to cut deeper... [cuts apple]... and deeper and deeper till essentially there's nothing left.
Glenn: Don't eat it! [Dina eats apple slice] Ow. [Sandra eats apple slice]

Jonah: So instead of relying on the jar method, we would each contribute 20 bucks a month, and then the fund grows, and then we pay it out...
Marcus: Slow your roll. This sounds like a pyramid scheme.
Jonah: Guys, this is not a pyramid scheme, okay? A pyramid scheme needs to recruit. This... what's... this is... Technically, this is recruiting, but...
Amy: Oh, I think this is going really well.

Amy: Hey, guys, look. I know that this idea seems really not well thought out and that it's totally naive. [silence] That's all I wanted to say.
Jonah: Thank you, Amy.

Justine: I wish we had this in place when I fell. I had to have all of this... done at a vet.