Mateo Quote #137
Quote from Mateo in Health Fund
Tate: Are you out of your mind? I can't give you meds without a prescription. I could lose my license, go to jail.
Mateo: Okay, sorry. Calm down.
Tate: [clears throat]
[Tate looks up at the CCTV camera and signals for Mateo to talk to him around the corner]
Tate: Uh, yeah, buddy. I can hook you up. So, you looking to get wasted or just a nice clean high?
Mateo: Um, just... antibiotics.
Tate: A.B.'s, old school, I feel you. The thing about pills is they're so tiny, they're hard to keep track of. Sometimes I miscount. [both chuckle]
Mateo: So bad.
Tate: Okeydoke, let's see what I can throw your way. Lipitor, Lipitor, Lipitor. You know, what the hell? Does that look like Oxy or a SweeTart to you?
Mateo: I don't know.
Tate: [takes pill] I don't know. That's a headscratcher. Mm. Oh, here we go. Expired amoxicillin.
Mateo: Okay.
Tate: Perfect. Gotcha.
Mateo: Thank you. How much do I owe you?
Tate: What? Are you crazy? You don't just hand me the money. Behind the Just for Men. Medium Dark Brown.
Mateo: Okay.
Tate: Oh. That was Oxy.
Superstore Quotes
‘Health Fund’ Quotes
Quote from Jonah
Amy: Okay, so in the first four hours, you've managed to commit us to $37,000.
Jonah: The claims just kept coming, and, you know, it's like that opening in Star Wars where the words zoom past you. And at first it's cool, but eventually you just can't keep up.
Amy: Wait, Sandra alone has asthma, rheumatoid arthritis, sciatica, fibromyalgia, leaky gut syndrome... This just keeps going.
Jonah: We just got to keep signing people up. That's all, okay? If we get everybody in the backroom to sign up then that will pay for these people. And then we can go to other branches and then that will pay for the backroom...
Amy: [gasps] This is a pyramid scheme.
Quote from Amy
Jonah: Wait, no, that's actually a really good idea. If we all contribute a little bit of money every month, we could create our own health fund.
Amy: [gasps] Oh, my God. Jonah. That's amazing.
Jonah: Right?
Amy: You just did it. You... You solved healthcare. I mean... Okay. So many brilliant minds have tried before you and they couldn't, and then here you are...
Jonah: Okay. [walks away]
Amy: Jonah the working class savant with a few business school credits. Jonah, where are you going? Together we could solve immigration.
Quote from Amy
Amy: Oh, hey, what sounds more like a real charity, The Mateo Project, or the Liwanag League?
Jonah: This is crazy. We shouldn't have to invent a charity every single time an employee needs money to see a doctor. The Mateo Project.
Amy: Really? I think the Liwanag League.
Jonah: I mean, scrambling to pull money together whenever somebody gets sick? That's... That's inhuman.
Amy: Would love to get people to pony up before we get sick, but planning ahead just really isn't our style. No, you were right, Mateo Project.