Dina: It just doesn't make sense. I mean, I'm crazy about Brian. And I was up all night last night thinking about it. "Why did this happen? Am I a bad person? Did Garrett use some kind of seduction pheromones?"
Garrett: And is that the one you landed on?
Dina: No, no. I finally realized I think this is because Brian has been away a lot. He's been helping out at some understaffed animal sanctuaries, so I think I've just been really lonely.
Garrett: I get that. I mean, I'm in a weird head space these days, too. I mean, Zoom dating is basically interviewing somebody while judging their wall art.
Dina: Mm. I guess you gotta keep your hands in frame, right? Otherwise the other person's gonna think you're touching yourself.
Garrett: What? No, I usually... I keep 'em... are people thinking that?
Dina: Oh, absolutely.

Brian: So I'll be going to a wildlife sanctuary in Wisconsin for three months and that's a long time to go without physical intimacy and I'm not a big fan of the Zoom sex.
Dina: He can never get the camera angle right. It's always all forehead or foreskin.
Garrett: Okay, I- I get it. This is really the best solution for you?
Brian: Hey, it's new territory for me, too, but I've tried a lot of new stuff because of Dina. You know, before I met her, I had never canned anything.
Dina: And you just make sense since we have history.
Garrett: You've really thought this out.
Dina: Yeah, sure have. And there's a lot of things for us to go over with you, but I want to make sure it's clear. I save the girlfriend stuff for this guy, okay? That means no sleepovers, no non-sexual kissing, and no stargazing unless it's for navigational purposes.
Garrett: Well, that's a lot of rules. Feels like I'm buying a gremlin. [chuckles]
Dina: I don't know what that means.
Garrett: I don't either.
Dina: The car?

Cheyenne: Uh, it sounds like a spam account, so maybe wait until your lunch to DM Prince Harry back.
Justine: You're right. I shouldn't seem so desperate.
Cheyenne: Mm-hmm.

Dina: Hey, Garrett. Can we just keep rolling through these guidelines? Brian's got a pug eyeball reinsertion at 3:00.
Jonah: Dina, I... I... Sorry, I just gotta say the open relationship... I'm impressed. You know, it's very progressive, very European.
Dina: Oh, Jonah. This is awkward, but we're at capacity so it's not gonna happen. I'm so sorry.
Jonah: But that's not... All right.

Nia: Oh, hey, Jonah. I want to get your thoughts on that Planet Money on the economy of sewage.
Jonah: You heard it! Ah, that's great. Yeah, totally. We're wrapping up here, so we will jump right into that sewage soon.
Nia: Can't wait.

Mateo: Oh, hey. No biggie, but when I mentioned no stickers on your clipboard, I meant, like, no stickers period.
Cheyenne: Look, I'm really sorry that you had to stop being floor supervisor, but I just need to do this my own way, okay?
Mateo: Okay. I just figured you'd want to do the job well instead of, you know, having Carol do the worm to get out of go-backs.
Cheyenne: Well, I actually think I'm doing a really good job. Yeah, the games and stuff are dorky, but they help people forget that their job sucks for a second.
Mateo: I'm just saying you might want to listen to the gold standard floor supervisor.
Cheyenne: You weren't even given the job. You just started saying that you had it. At least I was, like, chosen to do this.
Mateo: Yeah, because I wasn't eligible, okay? If they could've had a professional like me, they wouldn't have put up with your rainbow sparkle Hello Kitty crap.
Cheyenne: Oh, okay. We're being honest now? Well, this morning when you asked me about your nose pores, I lied. They are visible. You could dunk a basketball in them. [Mateo gasps]

Dina: I know it's a lot, but once we get it all sorted out, I promise it will be fun.
Garrett: Will it?
Dina: Yes! All hangin' and bangin' and none of that annoying relationship stuff? Think about it. If I get into a fight with my stupid sister, I'm not gonna bug you with that. I'm gonna bring that to QB1 here.
Brian: That's right. And I'm gonna be all like, "Dina, your sister's attachment issues are not your problem." Boom.
Garrett: Okay. Yeah, I guess.
Dina: Here, we got you something. [places Teddy Bear on the table]
Garrett: Wow. Not sure what I'm supposed to do with this since I'm a grown man.
Brian: Well, it's actually more of a demonstration, you know? We checked out a lot of websites and they said it's really important to establish sexual boundaries, so we will stick a thumbs-up sticker everywhere you're allowed to touch Dina.
Dina: Now, the thumbs-up represents a general green light, but in some cases, it's a little more literal. We'll walk you through those when we get there.
Garrett: Yeah, no, no. Nope, not doing it. I'm out. Nope, nope, nope.
Dina: Wait! I was just gonna put stickers on the bear's boobs. You love those.

Mateo: Yeah, I don't think we sell anything specifically called fruit soup, but you could check produce.

Earl: I think it's good that the kid had some consequences. Kids have it too easy these days. Everybody gets a trophy.
Cheyenne: You say that about everything. Do you want us to give you a trophy?
Earl: If everyone's getting one.
Glenn: Well, when I was a kid, we'd get hit, but we never cried about it 'cause then we'd get hit.

Jonah: Okay, guys. Come on. You know I'm not violent. I don't even do the "Super Bowl" pool because I think football is barbaric.
Justine: I thought you didn't bet because you have a gambling addiction.
Jonah: Addiction is a loaded word.
Cheyenne: I don't know, Jonah. You did hit Mateo for being undocumented.
Nia: He did what?
Dina: You also tried to wrestle me.
Jonah: You challenged me.
Dina: True. And to be fair, you did stop as soon as you got aroused.
Jonah: No... That's... No... That was the pants. I took them out of rotation.