Dina: Maybe you should tell us why you're here, Adam, with little miss tight sweater and her disgusting coffee, which if I could just get a top-up...

Dina: Do you roast your own beans?
Amy: Okay, guys, it's fine. Look, Adam's moving on. I'm moving on, too. I just started taking skydiving lessons. So we're both killing it. We should go.
Cheyenne: We have to wait for the scooter to charge.
Amy: Okay, we should sit.
Dina: You wouldn't happen to have a scale we could use, would you?

Kelly: So you put water in his shampoo?
Jonah: I was diluting it to make more, okay?
Kelly: Oh, God.
Jonah: Wow, I am the worst roommate ever.
Kelly: I mean, I wouldn't call you great.
Jonah: Yeah.
Kelly: But at least... Nope, I got nothing.
Jonah: Jeez. Maybe my Christmas present to Garrett should be a night off from me.
Kelly: Well, I know this dive bar that's open all night Christmas Eve. They have a pool table and one of those video poker machines...
Jonah: Oh.
Kelly: That's just sexual for no reason.
Jonah: Oh, well, that sounds festive. Yeah, I could... I could stay at, like, a creepy motel nearby.
Kelly: Yeah, yeah, or, I don't know, maybe we'll hit it off, and you'll end up at my place. [both chuckle]

Garrett: So you guys stole her lawn ornaments?
Amy: Mm-hmm.
Mateo: Girl, you are getting crazy.
Amy: I told you guys. I am a psycho.
Cheyenne: Oh, yeah, you got to let Craymie out more often. But call her something else, 'cause that name sucks.
Amy: What's wrong with Craymie?

Jonah: Hey, man, I'm gonna... I'm gonna crash elsewhere tonight, so... Not in, like, a spiteful way or anything. Just, you know, uh, merry Christmas.
Garrett: Okay, thanks.
Jonah: And I can... I can just, like, send you my... my add... the... the address of where we're gonna be...
Garrett: I'll be fine.
Jonah: Yeah. I'll just... I'll just drop a pin and text it to you, then.

Glenn: Well, I think I finally figured out these Christmas lights. See if you can still call this "fine."
Mateo: Wow. Christmas lights. I've never experienced the miracle of little lightbulbs on a string before. [all gasp] That's, uh... super lame.
Glenn: Yeah. Super lame.
Amy: Where's Jonah? He would love this.

Sandra: [answers phone] Hello? Really? Yeah, hold on. You guys! Jerry's out of his coma! Is anyone sober enough to take me to the hospital? [silence] I'll be right there.
[Sandra rides out on one of the store's motorized shopping carts]