‘Christmas Eve’
Season 3, Episode 7 - Aired December 5, 2017
On Christmas Eve, Glenn tries to show Mateo the joy of the holiday season, Amy tries to let her hair down, and reluctant roommates Jonah and Garrett can't stop bickering.
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: I think I saw the raccoon feces somewhere around... Oh! Did someone leave hot cocoa in the middle of the store... with double the amount of cocoa powder? It's so Christmas, huh?
Mateo: Listen, Glenn, I know what you're trying to do. But I'm actually trying to limit my carbs right now. So just...
Glenn: Just try it.
Mateo: No, I don't want to.
Glenn: Try the cocoa.
Mateo: No.
Glenn: It's from Santa Claus.
Mateo: Glenn.
Glenn: Okay, fine. I'll go first. [drinks] It's actually scalding hot, so maybe give it a minute.
Quote from Cheyenne
Cheyenne: What are you doing?
Amy: Turning this into a par-tay.
Cheyenne: I have ecstasy in my car.
Amy: We'll start here and then see where the day takes us.
Quote from Dina
Dina: All right, listen, it is dangerously cold out here, and I cannot turn a blind eye to this, not on Christmas.
Charity Man: Thank you.
Dina: [to the deer] Come on, little buddy. You'll be warm inside. Bell... two... three... four.
Quote from Marcus
Amy: You just didn't know me before. Like, before I was married, when I was in high school, I was... wild. [laughter] Uh, I was, you guys. I was a teen mom.
Cheyenne: Yeah, but weren't you 19?
Amy: Still a teen.
Marcus: In some countries, that's considered late. Angola, for instance.
Amy: Okay, well, we're not in stupid Angola, Marcus.
Marcus: Uh, good, 'cause you wouldn't last five minutes there.
Quote from Glenn
Glenn: I've never done it before, but I could use triple the powder.
Quote from Cheyenne
Cheyenne: Okay. Oh, but how are we gonna get there? Because I try not to drive if I've had more than six.
Dina: Oh, yeah, I should not be getting behind the wheel of a car right now.
Quote from Justine
Justine: Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Who wants to do Adderall off my boobs? I just crushed it up.
Marcus: Kind of in the middle of a game here.
Justine: Okay.
Quote from Dina
Amy: Okay. This is it... the vulture's nest.
Cheyenne: Whoa. Look at all this stuff.
Dina: Three owls? News flash... owls are notoriously solitary.
Cheyenne: Three-owl bitch.
Quote from Dina
Dina: Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh.
Amy: What?
Dina: The max capacity for the basket is a buck-fifty.
Amy: What, are you kidding me? I don't weigh 150 pounds.
Dina: If you say so, but I'm weighing you when we get back.
Quote from Dina
Dina: Mmm. Wow. This coffee is... [looks at Amy] terrible. Awful. Yeah, tastes like piss. I feel like I'm drinking piss.