‘My Perspective’
Season 6, Episode 9 - Aired February 15, 2007
As J.D. deals with his break-up from Kim and struggles to find a place to live, he develops vasovagal syncope. After J.D. gets in trouble with his neighbors and the police, his friends finally tire of having to hear about his problems. Meanwhile, Turk ignores Dr. Kelso's advice not to be too honest with patients, and the Janitor goes on vacation.
Quote from Todd
Turk: Then we'll make the laparoscopic incision right... here. Todd, anything to add?
Todd: Your nipples are stunning.
Brian: Hey, thanks, brother.
Quote from Turk
Brian: That guy is such a meathead. Come on, I thought all you surgeons were a bunch of brainiacs. I'm sure you got straight A since pre-school, right?
Turk: Are you kidding me? My girlfriend wasn't the only one with 43 C's, if you know what I'm saying.
Brian: No.
Turk: Yeah, I was an average student.
Quote from J.D.
Elliot: J.D., you should not drive.
J.D.: I've only had 2 Appletinis.
Elliot: J.D., I know when you're tipsy you always get super-handsy.
[J.D. is feeling himself up]
J.D.: You know what? You're right. Looks like I'm smuggling raisins. I'm close by, I'll just push my scooter home.
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: [v.o.] And now, for a little radio.
Radio host: Welcome to SportsTown!
J.D.: [v.o.] Ew. [Billy Ocean's "Carribean Queen" plays] Ah, much better. Ah, Billy. After the Arctic and the Pacific, you're my favorite Ocean!
Quote from Dr. Kelso
Turk: Dr. Kelso, what the hell! Why are you taking me off Brian's surgery?
Dr. Kelso: Oh, since you told him you were just an average student, he doesn't want you to do it anymore. And for extra fun, guess who I got to replace you.
Milos: Hello.
Dr. Kelso: I guess you should have followed my advice... vice vice.
Milos: [after writing an impossibly long surname] I come back. Finish later.
Quote from J.D.
Police Officer: There had better be a wolf, this time.
J.D.: Oh, I'm not the person who called.
Police Officer: Wait, have you been drinking?
J.D.: A little, alright? But I wasn't driving.
Police Officer: There's a key in your ignition. In this state, that's drinking and driving.
J.D.: Officer, we both know you're not gonna hold me in for that.
[later, J.D. is jailed with a bunch of brutish men]
Quote from J.D.
Carla: So, how was prison? Were you scared?
J.D.: Actually, my cellmates were a little scared to me.
[flashback to J.D. trouser-less and passed out on the floor of the jail cell:]
Man: That's so hardcore, man.
Man #2: Why'd he hang up his pants?
[present:]
J.D.: After I became a member of the gang, I even got to help initiate new members.
[flashback to J.D. joining his cell mates in kicking a man on the ground:]
J.D.: You like that, you punk ass bitch? Take it!
[present:]
J.D.: I wonder if we'll stay in touch!
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: Look, Carla, eventually it'll get out so I'm just gonna tell everybody I got an S.U.I.
Turk: "Scooting Under the Influence"? Are you crazy? Keep that to yourself!
J.D.: Sush. May I have everyone's attention, please?
J.D.: [v.o.] The reason Turk didn't want me to say anything was because this had just happened.
[rewind:]
Nurse Roberts: You know those two upstairs, who got hit by the drunk driver? The daughter's gonna make it, but the mom died.
[present:]
J.D.: [v.o.] Anyway, back to the present. Last night I got arrested for drunk driving.
All: Ooh!
J.D.: [v.o.] But I swear you all that this is not a big deal.
Ted: No, he didn't.
J.D.: [v.o.] And suddenly I knew what it felt like to be universally despised.
[fantasy: J.D.'s is Frankenstein's monster as his colleagues hold flaming pitchforks:]
J.D.: Assome of you know I'm not a huge fan of fire, okay? So why don't we talk this out? I'll go first. Carl, obviously I owe you an apology. I ate your daughter's face. [Carl groans] Uncool, Carl! Not down with the fire!
Quote from Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: Ok, in here we have Mrs. Frank, who is in renal failure. And over here we have Dr. Turtlehead, who is suffering from a severe case of "the Sulkys". Symptoms include bad posture, mopey face, and a sudden uncontrollable flailing of the upper extremities. [Turk is still] Is it possible I've misdiagnosed this malady?
Turk: [flails arms] No.
Dr. Cox: There it is. That a boy! [whistles] Beat it. All of you!
Quote from Janitor
Ted: Dr. Dorian, I promised the Janitor I'd show you this email. Uh, can you guys look away? I need to enter my password. Alligator3. Okay, you can look now.
Janitor: [on video] A-hoy! I just want to update you on my trip. Yesterday, we took over the ship! Aah! We captured a bunch of people and tied 'em up pirate-style. Now we can do whatever we want, including this. Watch! [ship horn sounds] Anything goes, man! I gotta go, it's my turn to steer. Wow! Step on the gas! Uh, hey, thinking about you, hope everything's going as well for you.
J.D.: It's not. I can't even convince the voice in my head that things are gonna turn around.
J.D.: [v.o.] What do you want me to say, man?
Todd: Hey, come on, buddy, we'll cheer you up. Come on.