‘My Friend with Money’
Season 6, Episode 5 - Aired January 11, 2007
Now that Elliot is earning more money and gets to clock off at five, she starts to feel some resentment from Dr. Cox and J.D. Turk tries to get Carla help with her post-partum depression, but she doesn't want to see a doctor. Meanwhile, the Janitor and Dr. Cox fight over a luxury hospital suite that became vacant.
Quote from Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: Look, this... This clearly isn't working out.
Janitor: Well, I found this room, so you should go.
Dr. Cox: Now, that's just about enough, Shrek. [gets beeped]
Quote from Janitor
Janitor: Ah, you went 14 times total. Four false alarms and one emergency.
Colonel Doctor: Uncanny.
Janitor: [laughs] I'm exhausted. Pick me up a latte.
Quote from Turk
Turk: We're the Turks! what, We're the Turks! We're the Turks, what?! We're the Turks! We're the Turks, what?!
Elliot & J.D.: You're the Turks!
Turk: That's right, we're the Turks!
Quote from J.D.
Elliot: I mean, seriously, since when does working at a hospital suddenly make you a better person? It's such a load of crap.
J.D.: [quietly] I don't know if it's really a load of crap. It's just that, well, if you...
Elliot: I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. Could you say that a little bit louder?
J.D.: [quietly] I just thought, you know, money, like a sell-out, so...
Elliot: Wait, do you actually agree with Dr. Cox?
J.D.: [v.o.] It doesn't take too much to send two people down a bad road. It could be a few simple words.
J.D.: I guess I do.
Quote from J.D.
Turk: J.D., have you seen Carla?
J.D.: Sorry, Brown Bear. Hey, mocha cup.
Quote from Elliot
Elliot: Oh, hey, chuckles! If you're a doody face, just keep walking. [Kelso ignores her] Get funnier every time, people.
Quote from Carla
Carla: Oh, I think these would go great with that shirt. Why don't you go try them on?
Turk: Why were you just helping that guy?
Carla: These pants and this shirt are the only things I have left that fit me, and everyone keeps mistaking me for an employee. Anyway, I was helping Phil with his whole new denim look.
Phil: Hey, could you also get me-
Turk: Go away, Phil.
Carla: Baby, let's go see the doctor. No, I'm not gonna have people laugh at me because I can't care for my own child. No doctors, not now, not ever. Understand? We're the Turks!
Quote from J.D.
Keith: Put that down. Elliot said that until you admit you're jealous, you can't use any of her things.
J.D.: Well, Elliot's not here, Keith. What are you gonna do about it?
[Keith removes his robe to reveal he's in a wrestling uniform:]
J.D.: Nice singlet. Does it come in hetero?
Keith: Do not turn on that TV.
[After J.D. turns off the TV, Keith wrestles him to the ground]
Quote from Elliot
Elliot: [laughs] He wrestled you, didn't he? See, Keith found his old high school uniform so we've actually incorporated it into our love play. I'm the lesbian coach and he's the captain of the wrestling team, and he turns me... So, have you decided to admit that you're jealous?
J.D.: No, never, okay? And thanks a lot, because the one hour that Kim and I had to actually talk, I was stuck in your stupid boyfriend's scissor-hold.
Elliot: Oh, don't you just love the way his thighs feel against your ears?
J.D.: No, not particularly.
Quote from Dr. Cox
Turk: Dr. Cox, I need your help.
[Dr. Cox is feeling a wall]
Dr. Cox: Not now, Gandhi. Darn it all, I-- I could have sworn there was a room right here. [puts ear to wall] Do you hear something?
[In the luxury suite, the Janitor dances to "The Girl from Ipanema"]