Turk: The only thing J.D.'s scared of is sharks. And he has a weird thing with pennies, but that's it. He's not scared about this.

J.D.: [v.o.] Most doctors don't believe in the out-of-body experience thing, and I don't know if it was real or a dream, but I swear I was up there watching Turk operate on me. And I have to say, he's an amazing surgeon.
Turk: Dude, could you not look over my shoulder while I'm doing this? It's a little unnerving.

Dr. Benson: You know, being back at this old place, you know the thing I have found to be the most disappointing?
Dr. Cox: Well, I think I can guess.
Dr. Benson: You. Well, probably because you do things like show up the Chief of Medicine, when anybody who's been in a room with Bob Kelso for more than two minutes knows how big an ass he is.
Dr. Cox: Hey, go easy, I just thought-
Dr. Benson: You don't think, Perry. You're such a talented doctor. If you played the game you'd be in a position where you could change things around here. But you're too stubborn for that, aren't you? All right, kid. Gin. Your deal.

Turk: Now, you can have ginger ale and a cracker.
J.D.: Ooh.
Turk: Oh, and I forgot. Your change. Two pennies.
J.D.: Get those pennies away from me.

Turk: So he was up all night with a high fever, cramping and crying.
J.D.: Dude!
Turk: Oh, my bad. Not crying, punching the wall all manly and angry like, you know what I mean? See ya later, buddy.

Dr. Cox: Relax, Carla. The man I'm smothering isn't really my father. Dr. Benson used to be Chief of Medicine here.
Dr. Benson: Hi, how are you? [both laugh] Still have that great rapport with the nurses?
Dr. Cox: Actually, Carla totally gets me. That's why I've been systematically trying to drive her away.
Dr. Benson: You ever see that therapist I recommended?
Dr. Cox: Not yet, no. [smothers him again]

Elliot: I heard you're telling everyone I violated you.
J.D.: Not everyone, just the people that work here. Oh, and my parents.
Elliot: Was there something wrong with my exam?
J.D.: [v.o.] So there it is. The classic trap. Two choices. Either wuss out or tell the truth.
J.D.: Well, you're kinda rough. Yeah, you're rough and you're a little businesslike. Oh, and you're cold.
Elliot: You mean my hands?
J.D.: Yeah, those too. I just think you could be more comforting.
J.D.: [v.o.] I could tell she appreciated how hard it was for me to say that.
Elliot: Do you know how annoying you are when you talk?
J.D.: [v.o.] Maybe not.

Dr. Kelso: Which most likely indicates what, Dr. Reid?
Elliot: Sounds like he has a simple case of appendicitis.
Dr. Kelso: And how would you proceed, Dr. Dorian?
J.D.: Well, I would have given me that news in private, no matter how angry I was at me.
Dr. Kelso: Sounds like there's a fascinating back story here. Turf him to surgery. Moving on.

Dr. Kelso: Hi-ho. I just came to check on my favorite patient. I must have the wrong room. How are you, Dave?
Dr. Benson: I'm doing great, Bob. I owe you one.
Dr. Cox: Hey, doc, you should go ahead and get some rest.
Dr. Benson: Yeah, I'll be out of your hair soon enough.
Dr. Kelso: Just a sec, skipper. You'll stay here until you decide you're ready to leave. For God's sake, you were the Chief of Medicine here for over ten years. Am I right?

Elliot: Carla, everyone likes you so much, it makes me wonder-
Carla: Why all your patients think you're a cold fish?
Elliot: My God, you noticed?
Carla: No, honey, they told me.
Elliot: Great. If anyone needs me, I'll be in the supply closet eating sugar packets.