‘My Day Off’
Season 1, Episode 9 - Aired November 20, 2001
J.D. experiences what it's like to be a patient at the hospital when he falls ill before Thanksgiving. Meanwhile, Elliot is concerned that her patients don't think she has a warm bedside manner, and Dr. Cox is keen to impress the former Chief of Medicine when he's checked into the hospital.
Quote from Dr. Cox
Dr. Kelso: See, Dave, at Sacred Heart we don't treat symptoms, we treat people.
Dr. Benson: Hey, there's something on your back.
Dr. Kelso: What does this one say?
Dr. Benson: "Never stop kicking me." And on the other side is my discharge form. Bob, you tried to discharge me an hour before I almost died?
Dr. Kelso: Well... [to Dr. Cox] How very clever.
Dr. Cox: What? It wasn't me. In fact I think you put it there yourself to get more attention. [Kelso leaves] It was me. I put it there. [laughs]
Quote from J.D.
Turk: Hey, buddy. OK, forget about everything that's going on. We know that you're bummed out about missing Thanksgiving so we decided to bring it to you.
J.D.: Wow, guys, thanks. Where's the food?
[J.D. notices he's in arm restraints. He then sees the Janitor stood above him with an electric carving knife.]
Janitor: Who wants the unmentionables?
Quote from Elliot
Mr. Davis: I'm really burning up here. [Elliot places her hand across his forehead] God, that's fantastic. It's like an ice pack.
Elliot: Yeah. I'm sorry to hear about your mom. Are you at least close with your dad?
Mr. Davis: You see this right here? That's his work. Pretty good for a man in a wheelchair, huh?
Quote from Turk
Turk: Look, J.D., I get it. I mean, to me you'll always be that geeky kid with the Pat Benatar t-shirt.
J.D.: Dude, she rocks.
Turk: I just want you to know how serious I am about what I do.
J.D.: Did you stitch your initials into me?
Turk: That's not important.
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: [v.o.] I guess what they say is true. The people you work with really do become your family. Like your brother. And your sister-in-law. Or that cousin you have funny feelings for. And the crazy, angry uncle everyone sort of hopes isn't coming this year.
J.D.: Dr. Cox. If you want, you can come down here and hang out...
Dr. Cox: Nobody talk. Just drink.
J.D.: [v.o.] Ah, uncomfortable silences and alcohol. Just like Thanksgiving at home.
Dr. Cox: Drink!
J.D.: There was the Nina...
Dr. Cox: Shut up!
Quote from Turk
J.D.: Turk, I was an idiot.
Turk: It's OK, man.
J.D.: No, seriously, man. I want you to know, if I ever need surgery again, I want you inside of me.
Turk: I want to be the one inside of you.
[fantasy: Turk and a group of African-American men are laughing at the bar, when the laughter suddenly stops]