Dr. Cox: Keith, I have been watching you and you've got some potential. You do, but can I give you one piece of advice?
Keith: Please.
Dr. Cox: It is all about confidence. Hell, be a cocky bastard. Throw 'em a wink every once in a while. Show me a wink. Show me the wink. Give me the wink.
[Dr. Cox runs and grabs Carla]
Dr. Cox: That's the guy. That's the guy who broke our friend's heart.
Carla: Well, hey. He's probably hurting too.
Keith: [winks] Hey, baby.
Carla: Oh, no. He did not just wink at me. For the next five minutes, I am not a nurse.

Dr. Cox: Carla, Carla. There is a better way. I don't like it, but Jordan tells her friends intimate details about me. Our sex lives, parenting deficiencies. The point is I'm sure Elliot has told you things about Keith. So instead of yelling at him, why not calmly let him know that you know things that he thinks no one knows.
Carla: Oh, Keith, mind taking a walk with me?
Keith: Yeah.
Elliot: Is Carla gone?
Dr. Cox: Yeah. She sure is.
Elliot: Oh, thank God.
Dr. Cox: Say Barbie? We're even.
Elliot: Oh, no.

Carla: We have such big news.
J.D.: What's the scoop? I would have no clue what it could be.
Carla: We're having a baby.
J.D.: [v.o.] Now give them the ten-minute emotional roller coaster ride that is the speech you've practiced all afternoon.
J.D.: Carla, when Turk first told me, I-
Carla: What do you mean, when Turk first told you?
J.D.: Oh, boy.
Turk: We've known for a day. The pregnancy test you took yesterday was positive. Yeah. I wanted to have everybody at the hospital gather outside to surprise you with balloons and stuff.
J.D.: What would you have thought of doves?
Turk: J.D., not now. I just wanted to do something really memorable, you know. I messed that up.
Carla: So everybody already knows?
Turk: Mm-hm.
J.D.: [v.o.] Then I witnessed one of those moments that let me know in my heart these two would be together forever.
Carla: Who cares? We're having a baby. We're having a baby.

Nurse Roberts: Mr. Roberts and I just love our above-ground pool. In high school, I was actually all-state swimmer.
Todd: Breaststroke-five! Maybe later.

Turk: This is an electronic hide-and-seek game. The other person wears a sensor. And the closer you get, the more it beeps.
Elliot: Ah! Funsies.
Elliot: Mrs. Factor has an aortoenteric fistula and needs a consult.
Turk: Fire away.
Elliot: See her red highlights?
Turk: Yes.
Elliot: Could I pull those off or am I so kidding myself?

Turk: I really don't have time for this.
Elliot: Turk, you're playing hide-and-seek.
Turk: With my nine-year-old glioblastoma patient, Eric. He's been in the hospital for a month. I think he deserves a little fun, don't you?
Elliot: Sorry, Turk. Sorry.
[Turk laughs as he finds J.D. hiding in storage locker]
J.D.: How bad would she look with red highlights?
Turk: I know. It is now my turn to hide.

Carla: It's negative.
Turk: Look at me. Hey, look at me. It's gonna happen.
Carla: Eat your pizza rolls. I gotta get to work. By the way, next time, buy a name brand pregnancy test, not that generic one.
Turk: If you raised my allowance, I wouldn't have to bargain shop so I could buy pizza rolls. Secondly, this pregnancy test works just as well as the name brand one. Wait a second. Results in three minutes.

J.D.: [v.o.] But the thing you shouldn't toss out is a pregnancy test that takes two minutes longer than you thought.
Turk: Oh, my God, we're pregnant.
[A stunned Turk sits back down and tucks into a pizza roll]
Turk: [screaming]

J.D.: Dr. Cox.
Dr. Cox: Halt. I will be doing nothing.
Elliot: Well, you at least won't tell Carla, right?
Dr. Cox: Ever since I was blitzkrieged this morning by an enraged German named Otto, a certain Dr. Barbie no longer exists for me, so if she was to ask me a question, I wouldn't be able to hear it and you'd have to repeat it.

J.D.: And Elliot, if you see Carla, don't get emotional.
Elliot: Oh! No problem.
J.D.: Really? Baby.
Elliot: [high-pitched] Oh, my God, Turk. Carla's gonna be so happy.