Todd Quote #89

Quote from Todd in My Bright Idea

Nurse Roberts: Mr. Roberts and I just love our above-ground pool. In high school, I was actually all-state swimmer.
Todd: Breaststroke-five! Maybe later.


 ‘My Bright Idea’ Quotes

Quote from Janitor

J.D.: [v.o.] Every workplace has that guy who has to top everyone else's story.
Janitor: When I was 19, I was a world-class 110-meter hurdler. I still remember the nationals like they were yesterday.
[flashback to the Janitor with a mustache, smoking at the starting line:]
Announcer: Runners, take your positions. On your mark, set... [starting pistol fires]
Janitor: Good race.
Janitor: They offered me a full ride at Grambling, but I slept with the president's daughter. Not the college president. The president of the United States. But, hey, if Amy Carter asks you up for a nightcap, you do not say no.

Quote from Janitor

J.D.: Here are some of the lies you've told us over the last five years. You went to Harvard. You have a wife who only has a pointer and thumb pinkie. You have a brother-dad, a mother-sister. You have two kids. No, wait, one kid. No, you had a baby with a Chinese local. You're deaf-mute. Oh, wait. Now you're telling us you're a world-class hurdler and you slept with the beautiful and irreplaceable Amy Carter.
Janitor: I didn't sleep with Amy Carter. We did everything but.
J.D.: Oh.
Janitor: And I really was a world-class hurdler.
J.D.: We're not buying it. Are we, gang?
All: No.
J.D.: The people have spoken. Allow me to bask in the glow.

Quote from J.D.

Turk: The family wants me to do a hip surgery. What are they thinking? The guy's 92.
Carla: He's their grandfather. It's not like he's a dog and they can go to a kennel and pick out another one.
[fantasy: J.D. is at a "grandfather kennel":]
Woman: We just got a lot of great new grandfathers in.
J.D.: OK. Ooh! Look at this one. He's so cute!
Old Man: Hey! Get out of my yard.
Woman: He's not good with people.
Woman: He's great, but we really don't want to separate them.
J.D.: Well, I already have a grandma.
J.D.: If I get one this little, everybody's gonna think I'm gay.
J.D.: Oh, look at this fellow. Come here, boy. Got a little hard candy for you. Come here, boy. Yes. Good boy. Who's a good boy? You got a candy you can unwrap in a movie theater.
J.D.: I'd name him Sebastian.