Tom: Oh, no. You filled out Form 3208. You were supposed to fill out Form 3248.
Nadia: Oh, God. This is to lease a hangar at the airport.
April: I know. It's so crazy, it almost sounds made up.
Tom: Bureaucracy, right? What are you gonna do? Huh. Weird. Someone left out a blender, fresh fruits, and rum? I guess we gotta, like, make Daiquiris now. I like to have music on while I work, you know? [D.J. roomba plays] You know that song?
Nadia: What is this place?

Donna: Look, I obviously never meant to embarrass the parks department. My personal account is set to "private."
Leslie Knope: Yeah, I don't even know what she writes on there!
Councilman Jamm: Well, you may not know what she's writing, but we do. In a shocking twist to an already juicy story, we have obtained access to Ms. Meagle's account, via a third party. Same hairdresser.
Donna: Damn it, Typhoon! Why'd you do this?
Typhoon: Maybe if you had bothered to come to my Great Gatsby Brunch, you'd know.

Chris: I think that you ask a lot of the people that you work with, and I think that people do what you ask because they love you. But, I also think that driving people as hard as you do can ruffle some feathers. I think a lot of things. I like thinking. And racquetball.
Chris: I spent the last hour reading some of Donna's old tweets, and it turns out there are some more things that she said about you. "Message to the recall haters: You can't keep Leslie Knope down. She's too real for this ish. #bossbitch."
Leslie Knope: "Leslie Knope is stepping up at these hearings and taking a bullet for me. #sisterfromanothermister, #bossbitch."
Chris: It appears, whereas "bitch boss" is clearly an indication of her frustration, "boss bitch" is a term of endearment. Isn't language fun? It's like racquetball for your mouth!

April: Did you change your outfit?
Tom: I changed five times, and she hasn't noticed yet. I can only stall for so long. What should I do?
Nadia: Um, I just finished filling this one out. I didn't know what to put for "Name of commercial airline," because I do not operate a commercial airline, so I just made one up.
Tom: What did you name your imaginary airline?
Nadia: "Jet Blue Ivy." I figure Jay-Z and Beyonce's kid will own her own airline eventually.
[aside to camera:]
Tom: She's the one.

Ben: We need to talk.
Ron Swanson: That has never been true.
Ben: I think I know what's happening. Thinking about how to divide up your possessions for when you die, it's tough, confronting your own mortality, and I think it's got you spinning a little bit. Am I right?
Ron Swanson: Wow. I had not considered that. Yes, I think that maybe you are on to something. Yeah.
Ben: Just know that it's perfectly healthy to be thinking about-- Oh, you're joking.
Ron Swanson: Yes, son, I am. First joke ever. Don't care for it.

Councilman Jamm: Everyone, take your seats, so this witch hunt may proceed as scheduled. Speaking of, uh, where are the witches?
Leslie Knope: They're right here! Well, we're not witches. That's sexist and offensive. But we're right here, and we are not gonna sit in this room and let you drag our names through the mud just to score some cheap political points.
Councilman Jamm: How dare you demean the value of the political points I'm scoring?
Leslie Knope: We have had enough. I am going back to work so I can do some good for this town, and my friend Donna is coming with me.
Donna: Hmm. I prefer "El Diablo."
Councilman Jamm: Uh, this is not over, Ms. Knope!
Typhoon: Donna, quit punishing me! I miss you.
Donna: Uh-uh! Bridge burned, Typhoon. Or should I say, "Norman"? Uh-huh.

April: Can I have these question mark stickers?
Leslie Knope: Why?
April: I want to put them on stop signs.
Leslie Knope: April, no!

Nadia: Hi. Um, I need to talk to somebody about reserving a park.
April: Oh, we have a new policy. Parks can only be reserved for witch covens or slip-and-slide competitions. Which one are you?
Nadia: Uh, slip-and-slide competition.
April: Seriously?
Nadia: No. Why would you even compete in something like that?

Leslie Knope: I'm pleased to formally submit Bill 68-J, which funds a new bike path in Ramsett Park.
Councilman Jamm: Motion to table this bill.
Councilman Dexhart: Second.
Leslie Knope: I also submit Bill 68-R.
Councilman Jamm: Motion to table.
Councilman Dexhart: Second.
Leslie Knope: You guys want to delay all my bills? Fine. I'm just gonna keep my head down and continue to get work done.
Councilman Jamm: All right, well, uh, motion to end this session early so nothing can get done.
Councilman Dexhart: Second.
Leslie Knope: Gahhh, you guys are the worst!
Councilman Jamm: Sorry, Knope. We're just looking for any possible way to get you recalled because we don't like you. It's nothing personal.
Leslie Knope: It absolutely is personal. That is the definition of "personal."

Donna: I don't want you to get recalled Knope, but damn, these people know how to pick a neck massager. And before you get on my case about those stickers, I already did 'em.