Craig: Everyone, can I have your attention, please. Now it's time for a surprise musical guest, One of my time favorites... me. [band plays "Oh, Donna"] I had a girl Donna was her name

Andy: Donna! Joe! I hope you saved a slice of that cake for your estranged brother LeVondrious! [all gasp]
LeVondrious: What's up, girl? Didn't expect to see your baby bro at your wedding, huh? Well, I'm here... despite what you did to me all those years ago.
Donna: What I did? This is because of what you did.
LeVondrious: Oh, you must be referring to the microwave incident.
Donna: Yeah.
LeVondrious: Don't worry. I brought it back. Well. [throws microwave] Now no one gets any popcorn.
April: You said you wanted a little drama.
Donna: That's why I love you, girl!

Ron Swanson: I've always liked that Lucy. Glad things are going well.
Tom: Better than well. And guess what I have planned for tonight?
Ron Swanson: No.
Tom: As Donna's Butler of Honor, I'm going all out. Baby blue brocade. As a surprise, I got a matching dress for Lucy.
Ron Swanson: And do you believe Lucy will be happy with this gift?
Tom: 100%! We're so in sync. I finally feel like I'm with the person I'm gonna be with forever. I'd marry her tomorrow.

Leslie Knope: Jen Barkley is calling again. She is relentless.
Ben: Jen is a powerful political operative. Don't you even want to know what she has to say?
Leslie Knope: She'll just say what she always says, which is, "Leslie, would you consider running for state senate or Congress?" And I'll say, "Jen, thank you very much, that's very flattering, but I love my job, and I get to do it for the entire country." The whole world is my park. Besides, our lives are so chaotic we can't run a campaign.
Ben: Well, if you really wanted to do it, we'd find a way. I mean, things aren't that chaotic.
Roz: All three of them just bumped into each other and broke everything you own. [shattering] I- I don't know what that was.

Lucy: Damn, Tommy, well done!
Tom: I knew you'd like it. Get changed, baby, we gotta dominate this party.
Lucy: What do you think, Ron? Tommy's the man.
Ron Swanson: I normally don't get involved in people's personal affairs, but something about a wedding... I'll just say it. Tom is quite taken with you.
Lucy: [laughs] He's taken with me, huh?
Ron Swanson: Yes. He said he'd marry you tomorrow.

Ben: Seems silly to stay at a hotel that's ten minutes from our house.
Leslie Knope: Well, it's been three years. We deserve one night away together. A little downtime, little privacy, maybe we make some more kids.
Ben: Don't even joke about that.
Leslie Knope: Let's just make, like, three more, so that each one of them can have a friend.
Ben: Ugh.

Leslie Knope: Jen? What are you doing here?
Jennifer Barkley: You idiots won't answer my calls, and what I have to tell you cannot wait.
Leslie Knope: But-- [kids screaming]
Jennifer Barkley: What's that horrible sound?
Ben: Children.
Jennifer Barkley: Ugh, your life is gross. My life is amazing.
Leslie Knope: Jen, thank you so much for coming, but we have to go. I have never been late for an event that requires an RSVP.
Jennifer Barkley: You guys live in Pawnee, Indiana. Where do you have to go? Putting up a new scarecrow? [laughs]

Jennifer Barkley: I'm dead serious, Ben. I think you should run for the House of Representatives. [a boy runs by] Whoa! What was that? That was huge!
Ben: Hang on, this is Congress you're talking about, like, where bills become laws. I am not qualified for that.
Jennifer Barkley: We're talking about the House of Representatives, Ben. You might be overqualified. Hartwell's biggest weakness is the economy, which is your exact strength. You're young, you're smart, you're running the biggest city in the district. I saw you handle that WiFi thing on TV. My firm is ready to go as soon as you say the word. You in or you out?
Roz: Uh, two of the three kids are showering in their pajamas, and most of Ben's ties are in the toilet. Just like, as an update of where things are at.
Jennifer Barkley: I mean, this is chaos.

April: Yeah, I just had to physically separate two 80-year-old men who were arguing about whether it was really Lena Horne in that grocery store in 1970. Okay, you stay on the Key Largo and Denver Meagles, and I will handle the Berlin Meagles.
Andy: Done!

Leslie Knope: Okay, starting now, you're in campaign mode. So first up, meet and greet. You remember how this goes, right? Your goal is to act like everyone is interesting and important.
Jerry: Hey, guys.
[Ben is silent]
Leslie Knope: Nope, too hard. Let's try someone else.
Ben: Okay.