Joe: We're gonna have orchids in all the pews, right? Because orchids are Donna's favorite flowers, and she's my favorite flower.
Donna: Ha ha! We real cute.
Craig: Of course there are gonna be orchids. Do you think this is my first time working a side job as a wedding planner for a former co-worker?
Joe: No?
Craig: I'm so sorry. I mostly have my rage problem under control, but planning is very stressful. Please avoid my trigger words, "flowers," "schedule," "vows," "bride," "groom," "food," "love," "happy," "church," "event," "wedding," and "Craig."
Joe: I am so sorry, Craig. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Leslie Knope: Okay. Try this. Tonight, just act like you've decided to run. And then tomorrow at the wedding, act like you've decided not to run. See which one feels better.
Ben: Okay. What do you think I should do?
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: Ben has to run. I don't want to push it, because it might backfire, but he has to run. He would be good for America, good for the world. Ben should be the Royal Archduke Sultan Emperor of All Inhabitable Lands on Earth!
[back:]
Leslie Knope: I'm completely neutral. I will support you no matter what you do.

Tom: You told Lucy I want to marry her?
Ron Swanson: Damn it, son, the small hamburgers.
Tom: Ron! You have to walk back what you said.
Ron Swanson: Walk back sounds like lying.
Tom: Can you drop your strict life codes for a second and help me out? Even though I've known Lucy for years, and can see myself spending a life together with her, having children, walking the grounds of Tommy's Bahama - a private island I'll eventually buy - that's way in the future, man.
Ron Swanson: Don't call me "man."
Tom: That's what you took away from this? [grunts] Don't serve this man. No more food until he fixes his giant disaster he's created.

Ben: Uh, hi, Mr. and Mrs. Meagle, I presume?
Albert Meagle: I am Mr. Meagle, but we're divorced.
Grace Callahan: I'm Grace Callahan.
Ben: Well, I'm sorry, Ms. Callahan.
Grace Callahan: It's Doctor Callahan.
Ben: Well, I hope that you are a podiatrist or a dentist, because I seem to have a case of foot-in-mouth disorder. [laughter]

Ron Swanson: Lucy, I have something to tell you. I am a liar.
Lucy: What?
Ron Swanson: Well, no, I am not a liar. I have never lied about anything in my life. Though I suppose you could construe camouflage as a lie.
Lucy: What is happening right now?
Ron Swanson: Tom wanted to convey that he likes you a great deal. So he said that he could imagine marrying you. And living on an island with your kids.
Lucy: Wait, now we're on an island? With kids? Plural?
Ron Swanson: Yes. Now, do you know where I can find those little ham balls?

Leslie Knope: Babe, you are killing it!
Ben: I am, right?
Leslie Knope: Yes!
Ben: See, just thinking I'm a congressman makes me feel like one.
Leslie Knope: Yeah.
Ben: Oh, also, I have a little secret. I'm drunk.
Leslie Knope: I am too. Ever since we had our kids, it only takes, like, one sip of wine.
Ben: I feel so good and "condifent."
Leslie Knope: Mm-hmm.
Ben: Con... I feel "condifent."
Leslie Knope: You know what you should do? You should give a toast. Because if you were running for Congress, you have to give speeches, right?
Ben: You want me to make a toast? I'll toast it up.
Leslie Knope: Toast it, baby. Roast it and toast it till it's brown on both sides.

Craig: Moment over. Leslie, April, help Donna with her dress.
Typhoon: Hi, I'm Typhoon.
Craig: Typhoon, I am interested, but now is not the time. Michelle, get the bouquet. You're skating on very thin ice.

Joe: Donna, even though I've known you for years, I feel like I learn something new about you every day. Just yesterday, I learned that the Pearl Jam album, Vitalogy, was written about you. You are an amazing, confident woman. And I love you.
Donna: I know that I can be a lot. And a while back, I was thinking I'd never find someone who loved me for me. But you're patient, and kind, and together, we can do anything.
Reverend Althea Nike: You may now kiss the bride. [cheers and applause]

Ben: How in the world am I supposed to run for office? Our lives are like one big unexpected stuffed zebra emergency. I don't know. What do you think I should do?
Leslie Knope: I told you. I'm neutral.
Ben: Honey, you have never been neutral on anything in your life. You have an opinion on pockets.
Leslie Knope: Yes, I think they should all be bigger. Okay. Fine. I think you should run. Yes, our lives are bonkers. But if something is worth it-- and I think this is-- then you just make it work. Besides, I just read an article on two-minute micro-naps, and the science on them is very promising.

Donna: Wyatt, why didn't you tell us you're running for congress?
Leslie Knope: Well, we didn't want to steal your thunder.
Donna: Steal my thunder? I'm sorry, have you seen how I'm wearing this dress?