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‘Sister III’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

New Girl: Sister III

318. Sister III

Aired March 4, 2014

Jess decides she and Nick should move in together after seeing Abby and Schmidt living together. Meanwhile, Winston prepares for the police obstacle course, and Cece and Coach bond as friends.

Quote from Nick

Nick: Reason 13: I like my stuff and I hate her stuff. Reason number 14: How am I ever gonna change my clothes?
Schmidt: You don't change in front of your girlfriend? You get naked in front of her.
Nick: Yes, but those are different things. When you're naked, you're powerful and it's glorious. When you're changing, you're hunched over and cowering, like an animal.
Schmidt: Animals don't wear clothes, Nick.

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Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: Is that why you guys are sorting through my garbage? I appreciate the concern, you guys, but Abby has changed.
Coach: Then how do you explain this?
Schmidt: I put my coffee grounds in a plastic bag so it doesn't get the rest of my trash dirty.
Coach: Really?
Cece: Yeah, he does that.
Coach: You got clean-ass trash, man. I don't even need gloves for this.
Schmidt: Quit sorting through my trash, Coach. You're messing it all up.

Quote from Nick

Nick: Hey. I'm sorry that this didn't work out. I'm sorry that we sucked.
Jess: Look, we don't suck. I'm crazy about you, but I don't have to spend every second with you in what amounts to a one-room log cabin.
Nick: Cabins are what drove the Pilgrims crazy. That's why they killed each other at the Plymouth Rock Massacre.
Jess: That's not a real thing.
Nick: So how did the millions of Pilgrims die?
Jess: There definitely weren't millions of Pilgrims.
Nick: Then how do you explain my 37-page essay about it?
Jess: I think you made it up in your head.
Nick: This seems like one of those "agree to disagree" moments...
Jess: No. It's not.
Nick: I'm also older than you.

Quote from Coach

Coach: Cece, darling.
Cece: Hmm? What?
Coach: How long have we been friends?
Cece: A week or so?
Coach: And have I ever steered you wrong?
Cece: Well, no.
Coach: Exactly. Because I know you better than anyone, girl. And you're acting like a lunatic. I mean, the kind of lunatic other lunatics look at and go, "Oh, my God, that bitch a lunatic." So I'm gonna need you to figure out why you're really doing all this for Schmidt and then sort it out.
Cece: You did not just say that to me. [snaps fingers]
Coach: Think about it, girl. Shoot.
Cece: Just to be clear, I did not ask you to act like this, okay?
Coach: It's just kind of fun to do.
Cece: Slow down, girl.
Coach: You gonna eat that scone? Damn it.
Cece: Slow down.
Coach: [manly] Are you- Are you gonna have this scone?

Quote from Coach

Coach: Cece and I have been hanging out a lot more lately. She sort of treats me like I'm one of her girl friends, and...
Winston: [strained] You don't like it?
Coach: I love it. [chuckles] I mean, usually, when I'm friends with a girl, I'm either trying to get that butt or she's trying to get this butt. But with Cece, it's not about the butt. [chuckles] It's not about the butt, man. It's cool. It's like... We're like sisters.
Winston: What?!
Cece: [enters] Coach. Hey, do you have, uh, Schmidt's keys? Kind of got a weird favor to ask.
Coach: It's only weird if you don't ask, girl. [laughs]
Winston: What?!
Cece: That's what I'm talking about.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: Great. Hit a parked car in the same neighborhood they shot friggin' Children of Men.

Quote from Jess

Jess: [on the phone] Coffee for one, a sundae for one, and the most tasteful, story-driven [whispers] adult film. Preferably a period piece. The farther in the past, the better. You know what I'm talking about, girl.
[later, Jess sobs]
Jess: [on the phone] Do you have anything in the Byzantine era? No? Okay, just a shot in the dark.

Quote from Jess

Nick: We basically sleep in each other's rooms every night, so what is the difference?
Jess: It's a really big difference. Because right now we're roommates but we're not living together. Not "living together." You know?
Nick: No.
Jess: Living together is a step. It's official. It's an official step in a relationship.
Nick: So the word "official" is the key.
Jess: Abby and Schmidt did it after one week. Come on. We have so much left to learn about each other, stuff you can only learn if you're crammed together in a small space and you can't get out. Just you and me. Four walls. No boundaries, no escape.
Nick: When you put it like that, it sounds amazing. And like prison.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: True intimacy. Embrace that. Abby and I, we have one sponge. And we use it for everything.
Nick: I don't like that, but you seem happy.
Schmidt: Don't hold back, Nick. Expose your cracks and love will fill them.
Nick: That's nice.
Schmidt: Thank you.

Quote from Schmidt

Nick: Do you know how hard it's been for me to take this conversation seriously while you're wearing that thing around your neck?
Schmidt: It's an Iroquois throat band.
Nick: That's the ugliest thing I've ever seen.
Schmidt: Yeah, you're jealous.
Nick: No, I'm not.
Schmidt: It's not just a choker, it's story.
Nick: What's the story? She didn't have enough supplies?
Schmidt: I'm not through the whole thing yet.
Nick: I got to tell you, man, looking at that thing, the sex must be awesome.

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