Jess Quote #631

Quote from Jess in Sister III

Jess: [on the phone] Coffee for one, a sundae for one, and the most tasteful, story-driven [whispers] adult film. Preferably a period piece. The farther in the past, the better. You know what I'm talking about, girl.
[later, Jess sobs]
Jess: [on the phone] Do you have anything in the Byzantine era? No? Okay, just a shot in the dark.

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 ‘Sister III’ Quotes

Quote from Nick

Nick: Reason 13: I like my stuff and I hate her stuff. Reason number 14: How am I ever gonna change my clothes?
Schmidt: You don't change in front of your girlfriend? You get naked in front of her.
Nick: Yes, but those are different things. When you're naked, you're powerful and it's glorious. When you're changing, you're hunched over and cowering, like an animal.
Schmidt: Animals don't wear clothes, Nick.

Quote from Schmidt

Schmidt: Is that why you guys are sorting through my garbage? I appreciate the concern, you guys, but Abby has changed.
Coach: Then how do you explain this?
Schmidt: I put my coffee grounds in a plastic bag so it doesn't get the rest of my trash dirty.
Coach: Really?
Cece: Yeah, he does that.
Coach: You got clean-ass trash, man. I don't even need gloves for this.
Schmidt: Quit sorting through my trash, Coach. You're messing it all up.

 Jess Day Quotes

Quote from The Hike

Jess: We're lost. Why did you let me chase a waterfall? You know what TLC says.

Quote from Eggs

Jess: Guess what I'm worried about? This sound. You know what that sound is? It's the sound of an empty uterus. I don't need test results to tell me that it is The Grapes of Wrath in there. It is 1930s Dust Bowl in there, Schmidt. And they're all walking with limps.